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Five annoying things every biker does at least once

From simple errors of judgement to frustrating pre-ride rituals – these are five annoying things we’ve all done at least once!

RIDING a motorcycle is cool, end of and there is no getting away from that fact. But adding the human element into the equation of riding introduces the error factor which can quite often leave you feeling pretty annoyed.

We’ve done it and we’re pretty sure each of you will have done one of these at least once!

5. To rain-suit or not to rain-suit

The Oxford definition of Sod’s Law is: The fact that things tend to happen in just the way that you do not want. Like the morning you cast your eye over the weather app prior to your ride before you set off. With rain on the radar, you insert yourself into your crinkling suit and try to exit the house without sounding like an angry badger in a bin bag.

Now your family is awake, you’re sweating like Vanessa Feltz on a treadmill and you set off riding in the lightest rain since sight rain began. Once the journey has begun in earnest and you're flapping like a parachute behind a drag bike, it’s prime time for the rain will stop, the clouds to depart, and the sun to come out.

Of course, it’s always worth noting that the opposite would happen had it been sunny at the start!

4. The curse of the post-pee trickle

Nature calls so it’s off for a pee mid-ride. The trouble is though, you’re wearing a one-piece leather suit, and the zip only comes as low as your bellybutton. To try your best to outwit your foe, you wait like a sniper after natures call has passed. 30-seconds is up and now a minute has passed. All your mates are geared up and ready to ride.

You’re sure that the danger zone is passed and that the feeling you’ve not felt for a very long time is being evaded again, you sly old dog you…

Walking back to your bike the smirk is wiped from your face by the dreaded drip.

I can only speak from the male perspective on this one – happy to take any advice from the fairer sax though!

3. The wayward earplug

This faux pas falls into the ‘I should have taken more time’ errors and is generally down to lack of concentration or somebody rushing you to get on the road.

It never fails to surprise me how what seems like a perfectly snug fitting earplug can go from perfectly performing protection to annoying foam pinball in just a matter of minutes.

2. The strapless helmet

We’ve all done it! You head off and down the street from your house, giving the bike and your kit the once over. A quick tap at your pocket confirms your phone is in place and all is good with the world.

Heading out of town and onto the quicker roads, you kick on and then it hits – the unmistakable sound of your helmet strap banging on the outside of your lid like a barndoor in a hurricane. It’s about now you’ll probably call yourself some unsavoury names, pull over and do it up. As you pull away, you’ll try and convince yourself you’re never going to do that again…

That’s a lie you will.

1. It’s all about the routine

Getting ready to ride is all about getting a routine and sticking to it. Just like a certain Mr Rossi does in MotoGP.

My routine is dead-set, every time and I never deviate from it – ever!

It goes like this:

  1. Walk outside
  2. Keys in the bike – start the engine
  3. Gloves on
  4. Realise my lid is still sat on the tank
  5. Remove gloves
  6. Put on lid

This is another that firmly sits into the ‘I should have taken more time’ error!

What pre-ride task do you always forget?

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