Paradise Lost: Routes of Essex

If you live in Scotland or Wales or the Yorkshire Dales, Essex doesn't have much for you. Compared to the biking paradise on your front doorstep, it's on the busy side. If, however, you live in London or its orbit, a day or two in the land of the East Saxons could make a refreshing change from your usual routes, without the time and expense of trekking to Scotland or the like.

Let's fact it. There are usable biking roads everywhere, and that includes Essex. You might need to lower your expectations, and you might need to ride around in circles a bit, oh, and getting up early always helps.

We've picked three routes. Very broadly speaking, one hugs the coast for a while, one follows the River Thames for a bit and the other is a rural, inland affair. For no particular reason, all start and finish at Chelmsford, the county town. Regard it as your home for a couple of days. Go on, enjoy yourself.

Some general do's and don'ts.

Avoid these places: Romford (and anywhere else west of the M25), Colchester, Basildon, Harlow, Southend, Brentwood and Chelmsford (except for going to and from your imaginary home). They're just too busy.

Avoid these roads: the A12, the A127 and the A120. Ditto. Especially the wretched A12. Even when it has three lanes in each direction, it's always a depressing grind.

But don't be scared of a couple of roads whose reputation does them a disservice: the A13 and the M25. Much of the London-Southend A13 has now been very successfully dual-carriageway'd, and if you're happy to filter every inch of the way the M25 is often the quickest way from place to place.

Colin's thoughts on the silver Suzook

Doubtless the SV1000S is selling by the container-load to a large cross-section of the biking public. But I can't be the only old duffer who reckons the most appealing thing about it is the way it looks like a modern regeneration of ye olde Katana, especially in the silver of TWO's test bike. Lots of angles and edges, and that 'not quite finished' thing that divided opinion of the Target Design-styled Katana. Not sure any Katana ever had welds as scabby as the SV's, though.

The twin also has some of the feel of the bigger Katanas: long, low, sturdy. Think Thunderace, or VFR. But unlike their smooth, revvy fours, the SV has a smooth, revvy, torquey V-twin, which suits it well. It also suited the mixed twisties and dual carriageways of our three routes.

That said, I found it very uncomfortable, but that's probably more to do with me than the bike. Not impressed by its range, either - 100 miles and then the light comes on. Blame the titchy tank capacity of 17 litres rather than the fuel consumption, which was 42mpg under my steady wrist.

Not a bike to fall in love with, perhaps, but you could get very attached to the way it covers ground quickly, looks good and stands out just enough from the ubiquitous fours.

Route 1

ROUTE 1

The Coast - 125 miles

A414 Chelmsford to Maldon B1026/A133/B1027 Maldon to Tolleshunt D'Arcy to Colchester to Clacton B1032/ B1033/B1035 Clacton to Holland to Walton to Thorpe-le-Soken to Maningtree to Mistley B1070/A1071/ A134 Mistley to Hadleigh to Sudbury A131/A130 Sudbury to Braintree to Chelmsford

This route starts unpromisingly but then gets better and better.

Head out of Chelmsford for eight miles to Maldon, and suddenly everything comes into focus when you find yourself tooting from Maldon to Tolleshunt D'Arcy (really) and Colchester. It's a varied, generally twisty and well surfaced 40 miles. There's lots of tall hedges on the B1026, so you need to stay sharp, but it's worth the effort.

Grit your teeth around the edge of Colchester, Britain's oldest recorded town, inhabited without interruption for 3000 years, and find the south-eastbound A133. Hook a right on the B1027, which takes you all the way to Clacton.

There's no riding to be done in Clacton, unless you want to charge up and down the front like a 16-year-old at midnight, but it has its charms. It's like a hick version of Southend and is possessed of a pier that no one's burnt down, complete with fairground rides, pub and many other opportunities to waste money.

Don't hang around for too long, though, because the roads are about to get very good again for 25 miles. You'll want to swing along the coast past Holland-on-Sea then inland on the B1032, back to the coast on the B1036 if you fancy another burst of seaside at Walton-on-the-Naze, then grin yourself silly on the B1034 and B1033 around Kirby-le-Soken, which you'll enjoy so much you'll turn round and do it all again, and then quite likely one more time. No hedges, no hills, just great bends, good surfaces and not much traffic.

Beyond Thorpe-le-Soken, the challenging and rewarding B1035 has some excellent ups and downs and 90-degree bends. It takes you to Mistley, on the River Stour, which has some towers and some swans, then Maningtree.

The next 20-odd miles from Maningtree to Hadleigh and Sudbury (just over the border in Suffolk) on the B1070, A1071 and A134 also has some fine stretches.

Your 30 miles back to Chelmsford on the A131 looks uninteresting on paper, but is actually a refreshing combination of fast sweepers (traffic permitting) and surprisingly uncluttered new stretches of dual carriageway, interspersed with Milton Keynes-quality roundabouts. Then make your own way back

to the fantastic luxury penthouse you seem to have acquired in Chelmsford. Don't forget to invite TWO to the housewarming. (We like sherry and Twiglets, if that helps.)