August 2001
So. Suzuki's demonic 145bhp/180mph GSX-R1000 has scythed its way into my somewhat moribund motorcycling life, despite my heartfelt belief that - these days - less is more when it comes to motorcycles.
That's less power, speed and potential to get me any more nicked than I have been in previous years. Obviously, the GSX-R1000 subscribes to the less is more theory - but as in less weight, more power and the most potential ever to invite a thorough going over by the blue-serge bandits. Still, they'll have to catch me first (oh dear) and that's not going to be easy for 'em, is it?
Ignoring all the usual (and quite deserved) hyperbole that surrounds a bike as manic as the GSX-R1000, just what are my plans for it? To be honest I think throwing any more than a Yoshimura Tri-oval end can, small numberplate and constant stream of decent tyres at it is a waste. Maybe, I could have a sniff around the front brakes - pads and braided lines - but really, that's it. There's nowt else to do.
Suzuki seem to have already been there. And done a proper job. The only thing they haven't done (arguably) is make the GSX-R1000 look as special as it undoubtedly is but then, who am I kidding? Am I going to make it any look better with a purple screen? Unlikely. I think I'll just ride it.
It's a GSX-R, it looks like a GSX-R, that'll do. Nope, the real work's going to have to go into me... exercising restraint of right wrist, thinking before acting, resisting temptation to wheelie everywhere and generally behaving like the hooligan I thought I wasn't, anymore. It's going to be tough. And I'm not entirely sure if I'm up to it...
September 2001
True to recent form the editorial yoke bearing down upon my feeble shoulders has meant my GSX-R1000's seen a lot more use in the hands of others than it has mine - there's never a shortage of people wanting a go.
Sonic used it at the rich boys' Gumball Rally at Santa Pod where it ripped through the standing quarter in 10.5s @ 136mph, and then on one wheel in 12.8s @ 122mph. One rolling burnout too many has torched the rear Bridgestone 010 so a replacement is downstairs waiting to go on. I figure for general road use the 010s are perfect and suit the GSX-R just fine thankyou very much.
I did sneak away from my desk, once, and use it for a 400-mile round trip weekend, mostly on motorways. It was shit. My fault. The GSX-R1000 is not a long distance commuter, but needs must when the devil, er, rides. Uncomfortable, cramped, raucous but most dangerously, stupidly fast, the GSX-R1000 accelerates from 100mph in such a manner that drains your bladder if you're not holding on.
It also turns motorway sliproads into 140mph-plus sweepers and puts a big, red white and blue target on your back - this bike will earn me a custodial sentence. Oh well.
The thing shaped like a canoe on the GSX-R's back is a Givi Speedpack S700. It expands to hold 40 litres of dirty laundry and does so in a vaguely aerodynamic - if unusual looking - way. Easy to fit and when it's on, it's on. If you've got mollusc tendencies you can wear it as a rucksack, too. We'll speed test it and see if it adds valuable em-pee-aitches. Or if drops into the back wheel above 170mph...
October 2001
As the old saying goes, nothing succeeds like excess, or something. Therefore, the ultimate is never enough, I need more. More - for a Suzuki - can only come carrying one name. Yoshimura.
Old 'Pops' Yoshimura dedicated his life to producing power for the people and the one Japanese marque he's forever been associated with is Suzuki.
Therefore I just had to plump for a Yoshimura Tri-Oval end can. Now, it's a fair amount of cash for an end-can, but the quality is stupendous. The finest titanium is used, which is then rolled over the thighs of beautiful Japanese virgins... oh sod it... I'm waxing lyrical and talking bollocks. Just look at the picture for crying out loud! It's gorgeous!
So, all I need to do now is ride it.
And hard! So perhaps a sojourn to the track is required. If I can remember what you do at a racetrack. Indeedy. And perhaps some blue and white bodywork. Oh come on... admit it. The fastest GSX-Rs are the blue and white ones... although the red and black looks saucy, too. Not so sure about black and silver though.
Whatever happens to my GSX-R, what will definitely be happening (when I can get the keys out of all and sundry's hands, the thieving monkeys) is a proper dyno check to see what my baby is kicking out on the dyno with its new can.
