Road Test: Over the top

Welcome to the Road Racing Capital of the World. They cancelled the 2001 Isle of Man TT races, so we decided to have our very own production TT Test. GSX-R1000, Yamaha R1, FireBlade and Kawasaki ZX-9R thrashed around the 37-mile course.




How excessive? Extremely. Line-up the four fastest sportsbikes currently available on the planet, ship them out to the legendary Isle of Man circuit in summer, and ensnare the use of the four fastest racers around the TT course, and you have the ulltimate test of the ultimate motorcycles. David Jefferies, Ian Lougher, Jim Hodson and John McGuiness were to race an R1, GSX-R1000, ZX-9R and FireBlade respectively at the TT this year.

When the races were cancelled due to the hand to mouth crisis, the lads were left with nowt to do. So we stepped in and sorted them out with their annual TT fix. The bikes these lads race around the Isle of Man are production-based Formula One racebikes, which means the R1 or FireBlade that you can buy down your local dealer isn't far off. The racebikes will have race exhausts, pattern bodywork, blueprinted engine and different shocks and fork internals, but that's pretty much it.

The TT course is without question the toughest test a roadbike can be put through, so we were fascinated to hear what the lads made of the bog-standard versions of their racebikes. Remember, there's no speed limits over the Mountain section of the course, and Jefferies holds the outright lap record of the TT course on his R1, so these bikes were about to be put through the bloody grinder and no mistake. Let thrashing commence!

Four sportsbikes, four TT racers, and one TT circuit. This is what happened...

"It's not a bloody jeep, it's a buggy. It's a truck, it's a four-wheel-drive. Anything but a sodding jeep, okay?" ranted Dave Jefferies as I threw my bags into the back of his pride and joy, a big white jeep, complete with ear-splittingly loud exhaust and an indecent amount of horsepower for a vehicle with the inherent stability of a rollerskate.

Crushing into the motor with legendary TT racers John McGuinness, Ian Lougher and Jim Hodson, we bundled off to our hotel on Douglas seafront, and I got my first glimpse of the Isle of Man. You see unlike the rest of the chaps in the office who know the place like the backs of their hands, I was popping my island cherry big style.

"Wave to the fairies, Wozza," said John a few minutes later. "The wha..?" was my obvious reply, thinking he'd plainly spent far too long in the bar with our Road Tester Gus and the TWO credit card before I arrived. "The fairies, at Fairy Bridge. You have to acknowledge them every time you go past, it's bad luck not to."

Not quite sure if he was taking the piss or not, I waved out the window and muttered "alright, fairies," as four of the fastest men ever around the TT course, men who stare dry stone walls in the face at 180mph racing in the hardest roadrace in the world, cooed "hellooo fairies, how are you?" in unison all around me. And they meant it, too. This was my first taste of the gentle oddness that is the Isle of Man. It's life Jim, but not as we know it. Set your watch to 1955 when you arrive...

Where else could you be refused entry to a nightclub with just seven people in it for not staying in the hotel it was attached to? Where else would it seem normal to meet people so drunk they can't speak at 10 in the morning? And where the hell else could you overtake a police car at 130mph on the open road, and not be breaking the law? The Isle of Man, that's where. Weird, maybe, but also very wonderful indeed.

And the ideal testing ground for the four fastest and most capable sportsbikes on the planet. Track tests are the only way to get the full performance out of superbikes like these, and the TT-course is the ultimate track, replete with lumps, bumps and big, flint walls. These are the same kind of roads you ride your bike on at home, except at the TT circuit, with four TT racers, it's just about as frantic and serious as it can get. If you're in the market for a GSX-R1000, Yamaha R1, Honda FireBlade or Kawasaki ZX-9R, don't go near one until you've read what our TT testers made of them.

THE OTT TESTERS

Dave Jefferies, TT Legend

6-times TT winner, big DJ is the fastest man ever around the course. Last year on a V&M tuned R1 he averaged 125.6mph around the 37-mile circuit. Hard nut or what? Third in the British Superstock series at the moment too.

Would have competed this year on: V&M Formula One R1

Fastest average TT lap:125.6mph, V&M R1

Most-used phrase: "Look at thru'pennys on that!"

Ian Lougher, TT Hero

4-times TT winner, the whippet-like Lord Lucan (he's always disappearing) still holds the 125cc lap record around the island and has been racing there for 17 years. What he doesn't know about balls-out road riding could be written on a stamp.

Would have competed this year on: GSX-R1000 TAS Formula One

Fastest average TT lap: 123.0mph, Honda NSR500 V-twin

Most-used phrase: "Vodka and diet coke would be smashing"

John McGuinness, TT Celebrity

With two TT wins under his belt, and currently lying 3rd in the British Supersort Championship, Castrol Honda rider McGuinness knows exactly what it takes to put in a blistering lap of the world's most-demanding road circuit.

Would have competed this year on: Castrol Honda Formula One FireBlade

Fastest average TT lap: 121.5mph, Castrol Honda VTR-1000 SP-1

Most-used phrase: "Gus, you bulb"

Jim Hodson, TT Star

Wigan-based Jim has raced to a stash of Top Five places at the TT in 12 years racing there. Would have been the man to beat on a well-trick and very fast Kawasaki ZX-9R this year. Raced British Superbikes until last year, too.

Would have competed this year on: Pidcock Formula One ZX-9R

Fastest average TT lap: 120.0mph, WSB-spec ZX-7R

Most-used phrase: "I were coming down t'M6, in't van..."

Wozza, TT Nobody

TWO's Deputy Editor. Never been to the Isle of Man before, so quite ready to have his brain re-adjusted by doing 170mph two feet away from a flint wall, and the horror of The Pitstop club at 5am in the morning. Riding around at the back of the pack in the Aprilia Mille Cup this year.

Most-used phrase: "Can I have a receipt for that?"

Gus Scott, TT One Day

TWO's Chief Road Tester is a veteran of the Alternative TT. Has woken up vomiting in every ditch and alleyway to be found on the Isle of Man. A bloody fast rider, Gus is racing a GSX-R1000 in British Superstock this season and has been on the podium already. Go, Gusbuster!

Most-used phrase: "Can we put crank mags on expenses?"

KAWASAKI ZX-9R

I couldn't believe it. I know the TT course is a ludicrously quick place to ride a motorcycle, and that those who race it flat-out on the fastest bikes known to man all have balls the size of watermelons.

But the ZX-9R's speedo in front of my eyes was reading 145mph. The roads around me were - although fairly traffic-free, well-surfaced and open enough for some real madness - still lined with walls and grass banks on one side and large drops into, well, nothing really on the other side. Yet the trio of racers ahead of me had vanished into the twisty distance, making me and the ZX-9R look like we were standing very, very still indeed.

All that was left to indicate they'd ever been there at all as I screamed my way across the Mountain section in their wake were a selection of tell-tale black lines, arcing out of 130mph-plus sweepers. Of course, laying darkies, on road tyres, on road bikes, on the blinking road, it's the most natural thing in the world. We all do it. Err, pardon?

It was madness and an awe-inspiring demonstration of the casual skill and intimate understanding of the TT course these guys all possess in bucketloads. Truly humbling and a very obvious demonstration of why they are professional racers, paid large sums of money to race on the island every year, and the rest of us aren't.

But away from the blatant insanity of flat-out riding on the TT course, there is a point to this little anecdote, because as my mind did backflips over what was going on in front of me, I was also very relieved to be on the ZX-9R.

It's comfortable for starters, so despite my mind working overtime, my body was relaxed. There's no cramping into an extreme arse-up, head-down, wrist-crippling crouch on the Kawasaki, it's more of a gentle flop into a forward-canted, plushly-padded tuck. Ready to attack, but alternatively ready to spend a few hours cruising some fast, sweeping A-roads and taking in the scenery. Not that the scenery was actually on my mind at this point you understand. Well, not beyond the worry of becoming a part of it, anyway.

On top of this, the Kawasaki is still bloody fast, posting the second-highest top speed after the GSX-R1000 down Bruntingthorpe test strip's two-mile runway a couple of days later, and that speed is very accessible. Thanks to the carbs the ZX-9R is still using and the fact that this is one engine that simply loves to be revved, winding the throttle on holds no sudden surprises - just a building head of drive that hauls you from one turn to the next. And in the manic fast stuff we were caning through across the Mountain, the top end was the place to be - the ZX-9R has a nice plateau of killer drive from 9,000rpm all the way to the redline. Ah, there really is nothing to beat properly screwing a 130bhp motorcycle on the open road. Bliss.

Gearbox is pretty good, so dancing through the ratios to keep the motor singing like a canary isn't a problem . The only time the ZX-9R's gearbox can be a drag is at the track, where you can't grab gears as quickly as you'd always like thanks to the amount of travel at the lever - you need a positive foot for fast changes. On the road where - even at high speed - changes are less frantic, the ZX-9R box was one of the nicest to use here.

Then of course there's the handling. The Kawasaki's suspension has been historically panned by all and sundry for being too soft and unsophisticated for hard track use, and rightly so - because it is. But on the road it's another story. The added softness makes the bike more comfortable, and at the same time it's more stable at road-going speeds. Where the GSX-R1000 has a damper to keep it in check, none of the other bikes do. Of these three, the big Kawasaki is the only bike that manages very fast road work without ever threatening to kick off into a big-time tankslapper. It's got user-friendly written all over it - one of the reasons why you see so many of them on the road.

And helpfully enough for the situation I found myself in (trying to follow a bunch of lunatics across the fastest road I'd never seen before in my life), the ZX-9R turns well. Not super-quick or super-responsive, but it's planted and leans as far as you dare, simple as that. It doesn't dive into corners with the speed of the others here, just responds exactly to what you ask of it. No more, no less, and is surprisingly accurate in the way it tracks a line once committed into a turn. And should you totally mess up and find yourself heading into a corner 20mph too hot, the brakes are as reassuringly unfazed as the handling, pumping back an ever-increasing wall of stopping power the harder you haul on the lever. Not as sharp as the Blade's or R1's, but plenty good enough, and better than the GSX-R's. All this makes for a fast, and unflustered road package.

Some might say the ZX-9R is past it. Too heavy, too big, too slow, nah, forget it mate, and buy a nice new GSX-R1000, they'll say.

But to be honest, while that might ring true for trackdays and racing, for a bike to live with every day, that'll take in a spot of fast touring down to the South of France, hack the Sunday blast with your mates, scratch with the best of them and still show 180mph on the speedo when you need it to, the ZX-9R suddenly makes a lot of sense. Add to all this the fact it's easier to insure than the rest of this pack, and cheaper to buy too if you shop around, and the supposed old has-been of the hypersports class suddenly becomes very attractive.

Particularly when you've watched Jim Hodson ride the ZX-9R around the TT circuit. I didn't think it was possible to stop a roadbike that quickly on public roads, and then fire it out of corners with the rear tyre sliding out sideways. But it is.

ZX-9R TT Opinion: Jim Hodson

The Kawasaki felt just like it did when I raced it here last year, apart from the suspension being too soft. Still handled alright though - you could hold it flat-out over the bumps and it'd plough on through where some of the others would slap about. It still turned in sweetly though - good balance to the chassis.

Biggest problem up-front was it felt like there was no compression damping, so braking hard into corners the front dived right down then came back real slow.

But the motor's dead strong for a 900, especially the top end. Only the GSX-R felt faster. But boy, was it faster! This was the first time I'd ridden a GSX-R1000 properly, and it's unbelievable. The torque is just monstrous. Hauling out of corners it's almost irrelevant what gear you're in - it just pulls like a train. It felt about 50bhp up on everything else here. I know it's not, it's just a new generation of bike.

But it's not perfect. To me, the front end felt odd after being used to the ZX-9R so long. Maybe that steering damper was doing it. The GSX-R would still have been the TT winner this year had we been racing. Its torque just meant that, especially over the bumpier sections of the course, you could ride the midrange to help keep it stable without losing any time, rather than having to scream the top end and risk more flightiness up front.

The R1 was bloody good too. Could run wide out of fast corners, and a bit twitchy, but otherwise she's a stormer.

Biggest disappointment for me was the FireBlade. That was just off its head whenever we hit any bumps. The back end was too soft so there wasn't enough weight over the front, so it kicked off slapping about and making you slow down when you didn't want to. A new shock and/or steering damper would sort it .

It even felt a bit slow too compared to the rest of the bikes here, and didn't seem to have the torque of the others either. Maybe this particular bike wasn't a good example of the breed?

If it came to splashing my own cash on a roadbike, I'd go for the Kawasaki. In fact, I already have, bought one last year and no, it wasn't a present from Kawasaki. But if I was buying a racebike, it would just have to be the GSX-R, wouldn't it... Jim Hodson

Jim's suspension settings for the ZX-9R

Rear: Plus two clicks of rebound over stock, and that's it

Front: Plus three clicks of compression damping over stock settings, all other settings stock

HONDA FIREBLADE

"If you could just come around the corner, then brush the bank here as you wheelie out towards me," said James the photographer nonchalantly to a FireBlade-mounted McGuinness.

The corner in question was the 90¡ downhill right-hander of Creg-Ny-Baa at the end of the Mountain section, and from just beyond half way around it's lined on the outside edge with a four-foot high grass bank. Between the white line marking the edge of the road and the bank itself is a strip of tarmac about a foot wide and coated in gravel, and it was in this strip John was being asked to wheelie as he gassed it out of the bend, half-cranked over and fully committed at about 70mph. Drift a few inches wide and the Blade's left footpeg would snag the bank and he'd definitely go down.

In a race, all the top riders end up brushing the bank at the Creg, but that's in a race. With a race head on, and a large pay packet on the table for getting around faster than anyone else. This situation was none of the above, but McGuinness slipped his lid on, mumbled "no worries," and proceeded to howl around the corner, brushing the bank in exactly the same spot, time after time. And one-by-one, the other three riders all did exactly the same. I shouldn't have been surprised really, after all, I've seen the pictures before like everyone else, but to see it in the flesh was bloody impressive to say the least, and not a little humbling. I mean, where do you learn to do something like that?

Well, buying yourself a FireBlade would be as good a start as any. It ain't going to turn you into a bank-brushing riding god overnight, but of the bikes here it's the one that's the most forgiving, most of the time, while still packing the performance to run with the rest of the pack when you turn up the wick. Ultimately it cannot match the GSX-R's sheer stomp, but in the right hands it'll stay with an R1, and leave the ZX-9 floundering. You just have to look at the results in the British Superstocks Championship to see the truth in that.

Thing about the Blade is it gives you its 128bhp on a plate, and the chassis lets you use every single morcel of horsepower. Hop aboard the Honda from any of the other bikes here, and it feels the smallest, the lightest and the most physically manageable. A lot of this is down to the size and shape of the tank between your legs, because a glance at the spec sheets says the GSX-R1000 is exactly the same weight, and the R1 only five kilos heavier. But they both feel like serious, don't-mess-with-me-or-you'll-know-about-it, 1,000cc motorcycles though, where the Blade feels more like a 750, and not one that's about to rip your head off either. For some, this friendlier feel to the bike has been enough for them to buy one right there. But others want more savgery to their superbike - and who can blame them?

Either way, those prepared to look beneath the surface will find a very serious animal. Because although the Blade can still play docile and jink through traffic or cruise up and down motorways all day long (only the ZX-9R is more comfortable), it is also an awesome handler, with the legs to match.

The light feel to the bike that makes the Blade so easy to get on with translates into super-responsive, sharp steering that drops you into corners very quickly and lets you almost pick a line at will all the way through. In fact, there are moments when fast road cornering on the Blade has you feeling as if you're floating just above the bike, controlling it with gentle inputs through your feet on the pegs, knees on the tank and hands at the bars as it skims lightly across the ripples beneath you. And powering out of a turn, the fuel-injected 929cc motor punches in hard from 7,000rpm, pulling you upright and flinging you onto the next corner. There's an enormous amount of feedback from the bike and all in all, it's a pretty sublime experience. On fast A-roads, few bikes comes together like a FireBlade does.

But over the incredibly fast and incredibly bumpy Isle of Man TT course, the Blade was constantly skittering about at speed in a way none of the other bikes here quite managed. It was actually quite alarming. Having ridden a lot of FireBlades over a lot of road and track miles, I'd always found the new Blade to have exemplary handling manners, and never found it bad enough to need to back off, but flat-out on the Isle of Man roads it turned nasty a couple of times in the racers' hands, and left them just a little concerned.

Granted, they were hammering down some seriously bumpy roads at daft, daft racing speeds, but the fact remains: the Blade slapped badly, while the rest kept a higher degree of composure. Nothing a steering damper wouldn't sort out, but then ask yourself how many times do you ride your FireBlade as fast as John McGuinness over a very bumpy stretch of public road? Exactly...

Bar this glitch, the FireBlade remains an incredibly balanced and potent package that gives you handling once the preserve of traditionally more nimble 750cc sports bikes, with the easy power on tap that only a 1,000cc motor can provide. The fuel-injection and exhaust-valve systems fitted to this bike in its year 2000 makeover aren't quite as flawless as the stuff as found on Suzuki's GSX-R1000 and Honda's own CBR600, and can be a little snatchy in low rpm, low gear situations.

The gearbox does tend to clunk a bit, but it is very positive and no-one complained of false neutrals or other gearbox gremlins cropping up at any stage, fast or slow. You could be fairly ham-fisted with the gearbox and it would just get on with it, which is good when you're doing 150mph on rough roads you don't know.

One area that is simply awesome on the FireBlade is the brake system. Holy cow, what a set of stoppers! The most feel, the most power and the sharpest initial bite make these the brakes of choice on this test. Those massively over-sized 330mm discs might have something to do with that. Just one finger is required from any speed to stop the Blade dead in its tracks. Lovely.

And that's about yer lot for the FireBlade. A storming package that hasn't sold as well as it should have thanks to its less-than-wild appearance and apparently placid demeanour - which has (prematurely) caused the nutty crew to plump for other options like the Yamaha and Suzuki. For those in the know however, the Blade is an absolute tool that's easier to live with than anything else here, ZX-9R excepted. And our example in yellow and silver looked about 30mph faster than previous paintjobs. As classy a tool as it ever was, the FireBlade is the thinking man's superbike.

FireBlade TT Opinion: John McGuinness

I like the FireBlade, like the softer power delivery that's dead usable and linear. It steers really fast too, and feels light, compact and aggressive where the others felt more like armchairs.

The brakes are stunning, and with the sharp steering meant that trailing the brakes deep into a corner while banked right over was never a problem. This surprised me because most of the roadbikes I've ever ridden don't really do that the way a proper racebike does.

It does feel a bit nervous up front though, and shakes its head over the 130mph-plus bumpy sections of the course. But then there's always a trade-off between fast steering and stability in an all-round package which is the compromise you're always looking for when setting bikes up for the TT circuit. A damper would sort it, without doubt.

As a genuine, useable roadbike it's pretty impressive really. I mean to dive straight on and get stuck in the way we did, especially over The Mountain where we really weren't hanging about was amazing and it did everything that was asked of it. Not bad for a bike you can buy in the shops with mirrors, lights and even a pillion seat is it?

It did feel slightly underpowered compared to the others at times, but I still saw 170mph and above on the straight down from the Creg to Brandish. That's pretty daft for a roadbike and how much more can you actually use in reality? Not sure really... but the yellow paint makes it look fast even when it's going nowhere. Definitely looks a load better now.

The Blade's an awesome wheelie bike too - just sit back in the saddle and let the motor pull through first and up she comes as the midrange turns to top-end. Then keep chucking gears at it as long as you like and the front wheel will hover three feet in the air forever. Or at least until the next corner comes up, eh?

John's suspension settings for the Honda FireBlade

Rear: Two more clicks of compression from standard, and an extra full turn of preload

Front: Drop yokes 2mm, leave settings standard

YAMAHA YZF-R1

The poor Porsche 911 Turbo driver. There was a Porsche gathering on the island while we were there you see, and so there were flocks of the bloody things milling about.

Every two minutes some herbert would come roaring towards whichever corner we happened to be parked up at, roof down on his Boxster/944/911/GT2 whatever-it-was, blonde filly giggling beside him like something out of Thelma and Louise, and then proceed to hit the brakes before dawdling around the bend in front of us at a pace more suited to a stairlift than a 90 grand performance car before revving away down the next straight in a flurry of wheelspin and Van Halen.

"I'm having the next one of those pricks," said Jefferies, sat on the R1 and obviously tiring of the endless procession of wasted performance passing before our eyes. And true to his word, as soon as the next 911 bobbled past DJ was off in hot pursuit. On the back wheel.

He caught the car, then passed it at over 130mph, still on the back wheel, all the while peering down at the bemused, flustered and ever-so-slightly annoyed Porsche pilot. £9,000 bike eats £90,000 supercar. Ha, seeya. My how we laughed.

Which just makes the point that you know exactly what you're getting with the R1. Where the ZX-9R is pretending to be a big-bore supersports bike but in reality is a very fast sports-touring missile the R1 is a lean, mean, hard-arsed superbike of the highest order. From the pointy tail to the twin bug-eyed stare of the headlights, this bike is all about being very fast and very naughty indeed. And to own one and not misbehave is as unnatural as a politician keeping his trousers fastened while on Clapham Common.

Bit of a shock then that the R1 is bearable in town, can manage pillions without them wanting to throw themselves under the nearest bus after a mile and can also get you around in passable comfort. Compared to a squodgy tourer like Yamaha's own FJR1300 or the town brilliance of a 125 scooter, the R1 is useless, but for a bike so focused it manages day-to-day practicalities quite adequately.

Just sit on an R 1 and you know it means business. The wide, angular tank narrows to nothing between your thighs, and the tuck of your feet onto the high pegs feels entirely natural in relation to this. A long stretch forward to the wide and low-set bars puts you right over the front wheel and 100% poised for battle behind the tiny, purposeful screen. It feels like its flat out just sat still.

Get on the move and at low speeds your wrists will start to know about it long before they would on the ZX-9R or Blade as your bodyweight comes to bear, but get moving and the R1 comes alive.

The motor may only be making the same power as the FireBlade (or 1bhp less in the case of our test example), but thanks to its extra cubes manages to throw that power at you with far more savagery. A quick look at the power curves for the two bikes sees the Honda building steadily to peak power at 11,000rpm, while the Yamaha's already there 1,000rpm earlier. The feel from the seat is that the R1 is most definitely the faster bike.

Running with carburettors and not fuel injection (surely on its way for the R1 in 2002) the R1's throttle response is very sweet, although the action of the twistgrip itself feels a touch heavy. Either way, there's no jerking on and off the throttle, but neither are there any nasty lags in the power delivery when you whack the gas on and suddenly ask for everything the engine has to offer. Nope, there's just one big spread of drive with a fat midrange punch that outdoes all but the GSX-R and makes fast riding - anywhere - as easy as falling off a big, greasy log spinning in a vat of oil.

Good job then that the brakes are so good. On the bike's launch they set the standard in braking and only Honda so far have managed to catch up, bettering the R1's by a fraction with a slightly sharper bite from the instant you hit the lever. But either way, the R1's brakes are still bloody powerful pieces of hardware that manage to make the GSX-R's impressive-looking six-piston jobbies feel a bit duff, to be honest.

Handling-wise round the TT course, the R1 is a curious mix of rock-solid stability and erratic head-shaking. This sounds rather confusing, so I'll attempt to explain.

If you happen to land a ton-plus wheelie (bound to happen sooner or later on an R1) with the front wheel anything other than dead straight or, heaven forbid, on a cat's eye or bump, it will most likely go utterly epileptic at the front end, snapping the bars from lock-to-lock so hard the pistons will be pushed back in the brake calipers and you'll have no front brakes left until you've pumped them back up again. Even when you're expecting it, this is a less than pleasant experience, and if you aren't, it's downright terrifying. It'll also do this if you're hard on the power in third or fourth gear and hit a particularly dodgy series of bumps.

However, so long as the surface is fairly smooth, the rider is in complete control and willing to stay on the power, the R1's relatively long suspension will absorb most things that are chucked at it and the bike will stay on the straight and narrow. So yes, the R1 can slap with the best of them if provoked enough. But otherwise, even flat-out across the TT course in the hands of outright lap record holder Jefferies, the bike never kicked dangerously out of shape. Both Gus and myself were expecting it to and rode with the necessary caution to start with, and both of us were similarly impressed to find it well-planted everywhere.

As you would expect of a bike weighing 175kg with a 1,395mm wheelbase, the R1 dives into corners with pretty indecent haste but a good degree of accuracy. It doesn't have the finite level of mid-corner agility the FireBlade or GSX-R do in standard trim and it needs a little more muscle from its rider to hold it on line, but the current model is well-improved over the first incarnation which, to be honest, was a bit of a point-and-squirt machine.

Where on the old R1 you'd barrel up to the corner, slam on the brakes, get turned as fast as possible, and then gas it out hard, using the motor to make up any ground lost in the turn itself, on the present model you can carry heaps more speed through the corners, thanks to the chassis changes Yamaha made a couple of years ago.

But, and between you and me, I'd like to bet there's one particular Porsche driver out there wishing they'd never made the bloody thing in the first place. And, on a separate point, if Yamaha hadn't built the R1, Suzuki wouldn't have built the GSX-R1000. On it goes - The FireBlade remapped our senses back in 1993, the R1 blew us away when it exploded onto the scene in 1997 and now the GSX-R1000 has moved the game on again. You could - and people often do - ask where will it end? After experiencing a motorcycle like the Yamaha R1 and having your eyes forced into the back of your skull by its sheer motive force the answer could be, who cares? Just enjoy it while you can. The R1 is a tool and in the hands of Dave Jefferies the fastest thing around the Island. Respect doesn't come any more due than that.

R1 TT Opinion: David Jefferies

Having raced R1s for the last three years, I know them so well any R1 always feels like my own when I get on and play now. It's really compact, but there's a surprising amount of room thanks to the long seat. A lot of shorter racers pad out the back of the seat with foam, but for a 6' 2" bloke like myself, it fits just fine as it is. The way it stops and turns is unbelievable for a road bike. Okay, it's slower-steering than my Formula One race bike, but that's had a money-no-object suspension and chassis makeover. The only place the R1's starting to show its age is in the power - it's on the verge of feeling slow in stock trim nowadays. Especially compared to the GSX-R. Holy cow, what a bloody motorbike that is. The Suzuki's moved the game on to a new level. Personally, I didn't reckon there was that much difference handling-wise between it and the R1, but where the Suzuki scores every time is raw power. Both bikes are very stable, the Suzuki slightly more so thanks to the damper, but that stability masked some of the feedback for me. It was stable all the time... I prefer my bikes a little lively, so I know what they're up to. Especially at the TT.

Talking of stability, the Blade wasn't. At low speeds the front felt light, and over fast bumpy sections, it went apeshit. If ever a bike needed a steering damper on the track, the Blade's it. Bloody good brakes though, probably equal top alongside the R1's. The Kawasaki's were dead solid and predictable - bit like the whole bike really - and the GSX-R's come last. There was just enough initial bite, but after that it was like "where's the stopping power?"

Coming back to the ZX-9R, I liked it. It's the one I'd choose for a cross-continent thrash. The seat's the plushest, the riding position the most relaxed and the suspension's the softest which makes for a very easygoing package. It's still a seriously fast motorbike, probably the fastest here after the GSX-R in terms of top speed, but it's just the least racy bike here.

For fast larking about with my mates, wheelying and naughtiness I'd take the R1, but for a balls-out thrash on my own, it would have to be the GSX-R. Love that power.

SUZUKI GSX-R1000

"Who's the daddy? Who's the daddy now?" laughed Ian Lougher - and you might logically assume he was talking about the GSX-R1000 after a particularly hard thrash. After all, it is the bike he would have been racing at the TT this year had the races gone ahead, and the bike we reckoned was the one to beat.

However, Mr Lougher was not talking about the GSX-R and how awesome it was at this point, he was making sure we all appreciated his guile and cunning in getting the night porter to open the hotel bar, when we'd been assured it was in fact closed. After all, it was 2am. Whatever happened next is anyone's guess, but if the pictures we later found on Gus's camera were anything to go by, it looked like everyone had a good time.

No one was really having a very good time at breakfast the following morning though, but we were there to work and 20 minutes later were all at a nearby filling station getting the bikes gassed-up for the day's thrashing round the TT circuit. And what of the GSX-R?

Well, although it would probably be more sensible not to ride a 144bhp motorbike with a hangover, if you weren't feeling too well, the GSX-R would look after you nicely.

True, the pegs are very high and your legs do get fairly-squashed up, but at least the seat is supple and the bars, although a fair stretch away, really not too extreme to cause bad discomfort at low speeds. And from here, you could snick into third gear through the slick gearbox, pull away, and forget about changing gear again until you reached your destination, just rolling on and off the throttle, wafting your way up hill and down dale. Fuss-free, no-brainer, fast transport. Bit like a very powerful and good-looking scooter really.

Obviously, there is an awful lot more to the GSX-R1000 than this, but thanks to that stunningly powerful and tractable motor, you can be so lazy riding the thing and still keep the others in sight it isn't true. Got distracted and gone around that last corner 20mph slower than everybody else? No worries, wind on the gas to catch up. Fell asleep at the last junction and everyone else is two miles ahead already? Just wind on the gas and catch up.

If it sounds daft, that's because it is. Because frankly, the GSX-R has taken this whole class to another level and in terms of sheer power and how easy it is to use, it wipes the floor with the competition. Look at the top speeds we got on the day - the GSX-R is a whole 10mph faster than the next bike (the ZX-9R). Look at the power figures. Same story - the GSX-R is making a full 15bhp more than next most powerful bike (the FireBlade). And at 989cc, it's not even the biggest-bore motorcycle in the test (R1, 998cc). What a bloody monster it is.

Then there's the handling. It's beautiful. Accurate, stable, and devastatingly quick to boot. It turns in considerably faster than the R1, is as solid as the ZX-9R mid-corner, can change line almost as quickly as the FireBlade and hauls out of the corners like nothing else here. Sound perfect? Well almost...

One down side is the brakes. Smart-looking six-piston Tokicos they may be, but behind the looks they're really a bit ordinary. Sure there may be enough braking power on tap, but it requires a real effort at the lever to actually get it all out. There's a slightly disconcerting lag between tugging the lever and the braking coming into effect, too, that isn't there on any of the other bikes. Which, coupled with less feel at the lever than the rest means these brakes are at the bottom in this group. You've got to get some heat into them before they do much at all out on the open road. A change of pads would probably work wonders, too.

But this bike just blows me away, It really does. To ruffle its feathers you need to be going very fast indeed. It's so steady at speed you often end up travelling a lot faster than you would on the other bikes, because you can. The GSX-R's limits are that step further on than any of the other bikes here, that a less-experienced rider could easily ride it fast, but may then find themselves caught out. The GSX-R1000 can handle it no worries, it's the rider's head that'll implode first.

Here's an example: tooling out of a 100mph sweeper, you wind on the gas hard and head for the horizon. Because the GSX-R has that much more power on tap, and you feel so comfortable using it, even at these speeds you can still ask for too much from the motor and, before you know it, the back end's sliding out. Or the front wheel is in the air. Now the chassis is so good that if you're experienced enough not to panic this needn't be a cause for a alarm, because the bike'll sort itself out before you've really had time to think about it. In fact it's probably a cause for celebration and a highly-exaggerated rear-wheel-steering or mono-wheeling story in the pub later on. But if you're caught on the hop, chances are you're suddenly out of your depth and who knows what the consequences might be? There's nothing inherently unmanageable about a GSX-R1000, but it is damned deceptive. One minute you're burbling through town admiring your reflection in shop windows, the next minute you're praying to the Good Lord above to deliver you from this evil. Just be aware and you'll have no problems.

But enough preaching - let's get back to the lunacy. Because that is really what the GSX-R is about. Let's not try and justify it any other way, because you simply don't buy a bike like this for the practicalities. You buy it for wasting everything and everyone on your favourite road. It is pure, vicious power distilled into a package and chassis that lets you use it all - a stunning trick that outdoes all the other bikes in this class. It's almost revolution more than evolution, that's how extreme it is.

You buy a GSX-R1000 for 130mph wheelies that will probably see you locked up for three months, you buy it for flat-out trips across France that'll leave your eyes bloodshot and your body shaking long after you've stopped for the night. You buy it to demolish A-roads and B-roads in a thrice. In short, you buy it because it's the baddest, sharpest tool on the sportsbike market yet made. Infact, the GSX-R1000 is just downright rude...

GSX-R TT Opinion: Ian Lougher

First time I jumped on a GSX-R, I didn't think "wow, this is some kind of mad animal," I was just impressed with the whole package. Don't get me wrong, it's stunningly fast and the quickest here, but I'm used to racing 150bhp-plus bikes so the GSX-R's power wasn't exactly a shock. Saying that, when I got off the bike on this trip, I realised it was heading for the same sort of power as the Yamaha R71 (R7 chassis meets tuned R1 motor) I raced here last year. It feels revvy compared to the R1, spins up more freely, and thanks to the fuel injection it can sometimes kick in with the power too hard coming back off a closed throttle. Particularly around 6,000rpm. Oh, it's a bit prone to wheelspin too thanks to the amount of power you can put down. I've had tyres turn on the rim before now which just shows the power that's available - we're looking at 158bhp on my production bike just with an end-can and a blueprinted motor.

If it has a weak point, it's the brakes. Ridden on its own they feel fine, but after riding the other bikes they felt a bit lacking. There's just a lag between getting on the lever and the stopping starting. If you get my drift. It was comfortable too, but not as comfortable as the Kawasaki. Now that bike surprised me. I was expecting it to be a bit of a lorry but after a few miles on it and it not misbehaving I started picking the pace up and really enjoyed it. It had the smoothest throttle response and the speed was good too. Granted, it didn't steer quite as quick as the others but was accurate enough. Gave me loads of confidence. It was set up very soft though - probably why it was so comfortable - but that wasn't such a problem. There was enough warning before it let go, and you could get near its limits more easily. Good gearbox too.

As for the R1, I'd never really ridden a standard one before this test, and I liked it. Like with the ZX-9R, the carbs meant no snatch getting back on the gas, and the brakes were the pick of the bunch. Steered dead quick, too. But that riding position sticks you right over the front end and the screen's small - even for shortarses like me. Gearbox was pretty heavy and it seemed a bit lacking in grunt after the GSX-R. Stronger than the Blade though, and on a par with the ZX-9 for me.

FireBlade was a disappointment. I thought I'd get on that and love it, but it scared the life out of me. Mind you it didn't help that my first ride was on the bumpiest part of the course. On the smoother sections you could snap on the throttle that much harder and use more of the power more often thanks to it packing a slightly smaller punch than the others here. Still a very fast motorcycle though.

So much power, so much choice. But if you're in the market for one of these, which one can you simply not live without?

After four days tearing around the world's best road race circuit, all the while bathed in the finest sunshine, the first thing we can say for certain is that there are no bad bikes here. Whichever way you cut it, 130bhp-plus sportsbikes blow our socks off.

Like the Isle of Man and the TT races, all four bikes are distilled gems of pure performance, freely available to anyone able to stand up and swear allegiance to all that is good in life. Choose speed, choose power, choose 180mph on the speedo wrapped in a supremely-responsive chassis, all the while smiling in the knowledge our society isn't quite as tightly wrapped in cotton wool as it sometimes seems. Yet.

As for which fast fruit to pluck from this performance tree, it all depends on what you're after. If you're a trackday deity, in pure racetrack terms the Kawasaki ZX-9R is the least-capable bike here. Out of the crate and on standard suspension settings and tyres, it was the one whose limits appear first, as the suspension wallows and pitches the bike about and precise, high-speed laps become sweat-soaked, fraught affairs. But then, the racetrack is not where the ZX-9R is designed to be. Because in everyday terms the Kawasaki is a gem. Very, very fast and revvy, but very stable and assured at the same time. Around the TT course, the ZX-9R was probably the easiest to ride fast, and the most comfortable too. Oh, and the best price tag here makes it more attractive still.

The FireBlade on the other hand is the most precise track-tool that really lets you use all the power it has on offer, and packs the finest brakes on test into the bargain. More sporting than the Kawasaki, it's also a less intimidating package to throw about than anything else in this company. And it's not far behind the ZX-9R in terms of being able to really live with from day to day.

The front end of the FireBlade could get a little frisky over really bumpy surfaces. You had to be going absolutely banzai, like over a ton, on bumpy roads for it to really become a factor, but the Honda is certainly the quickest-steering bike on this test. Which makes it ultimately the most responsive, and lightest-feeling too, but a definite candidate for a steering damper in hooligan hands.

As for the Yamaha R1, it is still a pure bad-to-the-bone motorcycle. The motor may feel slightly lacklustre next to the all-consuming GSX-R, but it's still a mighty potent weapon, with a stronger midrange hit than all but the Suzuki.

The Blade may be easier to get on and ride fast on immediately, but the R1 ain't far behind, and on the roads that midrange means easier speed more of the time, while the recently-improved chassis means sharper corner-slicing. The chassis isn't as direct as the FireBlade's and the engine isn't as strong as the GSX-Rs, but the R1 still looks wicked and goes like stink, and it's cult status is certainly guaranteed for this year.

Which brings us to the GSX-R1000. A whole new level in 1,000cc motorcycles, and a total weapon. The motor out-stomps the competition everywhere from tickover to the redline, from sheer usability to outright top speed. And when a motor as good as this comes in a chassis this sweet, all you can do is take your hats off to the men in white coats at Suzuki. They must be giggling mad. The best-handling, most-powerful supersports bike out there today is exactly what the GSX-R1000 is. Every time I get off one of these I babble like a child for five minutes afterwards. Thing is, it's biggest trick lies not in how utterly, utterly mental it is, but more in the fact that it is totally civilised when you're not headbanging. A fairly remarkable piece of engineering, for sure, and the undisputed winner in what is an incredibly hot class.

On the road, any one of these four motorcycles will simply blow you away. Every time I get on one of these bikes I cannot believe that these things are manufactured for use and sale on public roads. They should come with health hazards attached as standard. Not that I'm complaining, mind, I'm just gobsmacked and delighted that in these over-governed times, bikes like this are allowed. And when you learn that both Yamaha and Honda have new developments of their R1 and FireBlade models for 2002, you're left shaking your head in wonder. Where will it all end? Who honestly cares - just keep bringing it on, lads.

We told you we were recreating the TT right the way up to staging a race between the top riders. We couldn't quite manage a full-on road race due to certain irregularities between our paperwork and the local gendarmes, so we needed an event in its place to replicate the TT racing as closely as possible...

We pondered long and hard trying to find a suitable event. A donkey race was suggested, then rejected as we couldn't find any donkeys, and the sack race idea went the same way. Someone wanted to have a pool tournament, but being in a bar that would invariably have degenerated into a dribbling, brawling mess.

Nope, only one event would do, and that was an egg and spoon race. On real roads. Oh yes, none of your namby-pamby school playing fields for these lads, this egg and spoon race would be held in the Isle of Man TT pit-lane.

Peter Kneale, "the voice of the TT" came along to commentate, and after selecting their eggs and spoons (homologated especially for the event, of course), Jefferies, Lougher, McGuinness and, entering as a Wild Card for his first ever TT competition, TWO's own Gus Scott (Jim Hodson sadly had to go home before the event), lined up at one end of the pit-lane.

The flag drops, the bullshit stops. In a close-fought race, including a pit-stop half-way to change eggs, Jefferies takes an early lead, challenged hard by McGuinness. Elbows and knees everywhere as they come down the main straight in a tight bunch. Gus unfortunately loses control of his spoon, blaming a poor silverware choice, and leaves a nasty eggy mess on the road, while Lougher almost pips the other two to the win, but loses his footing on a passing boy scout, wrecking his egg beyond repair. He gallantly tries to scoop it back onto the spoon and limp home for some points, but it isn't happening.

Which leaves Jefferies to take the win, McGuinness romping home a clean second, and Ian and Gus shattered (hoho) men.

How excessive? Extremely. Line-up the four fastest sportsbikes currently available on the planet, ship them out to the legendary Isle of Man circuit in summer, and ensnare the use of the four fastest racers around the TT course, and you have the ulltimate test of the ultimate motorcycles. David Jefferies, Ian Lougher, Jim Hodson and John McGuiness were to race an R1, GSX-R1000, ZX-9R and FireBlade respectively at the TT this year.

When the races were cancelled due to the hand to mouth crisis, the lads were left with nowt to do. So we stepped in and sorted them out with their annual TT fix. The bikes these lads race around the Isle of Man are production-based Formula One racebikes, which means the R1 or FireBlade that you can buy down your local dealer isn't far off. The racebikes will have race exhausts, pattern bodywork, blueprinted engine and different shocks and fork internals, but that's pretty much it.

The TT course is without question the toughest test a roadbike can be put through, so we were fascinated to hear what the lads made of the bog-standard versions of their racebikes. Remember, there's no speed limits over the Mountain section of the course, and Jefferies holds the outright lap record of the TT course on his R1, so these bikes were about to be put through the bloody grinder and no mistake. Let thrashing commence!

Four sportsbikes, four TT racers, and one TT circuit. This is what happened...

THE OTT TESTERS

Dave Jefferies, TT Legend

6-times TT winner, big DJ is the fastest man ever around the course. Last year on a V&M tuned R1 he averaged 125.6mph around the 37-mile circuit. Hard nut or what? Third in the British Superstock series at the moment too.

Would have competed that year on: V&M Formula One R1                     
Fastest average TT lap: 125.6mph, V&M R1
Most-used phrase: "Look at the thru' pennys on that!"

Ian Lougher, TT Hero

4-times TT winner, the whippet-like Lord Lucan (he's always disappearing) still holds the 125cc lap record around the island and has been racing there for 17 years. What he doesn't know about balls-out road riding could be written on a stamp.

Would have competed that year on: TAS Formula One GSX-R1000
Fastest average TT lap: 123.0mph, Honda NSR500 V-twin
Most-used phrase: "Vodka and diet coke would be smashing"

John McGuinness, TT Celebrity

With two TT wins under his belt in 2001, and currently lying 3rd in the British Supersort Championship, Castrol Honda rider McGuinness knows exactly what it takes to put in a blistering lap of the world's most-demanding road circuit.

Would have competed that year on: Castrol Honda Formula One FireBlade
Fastest average TT lap: 121.5mph, Castrol Honda VTR-1000 SP-1
Most-used phrase: "Gus, you bulb"                                   

Jim Hodson, TT Star

Wigan-based Jim has raced to a stash of Top Five places at the TT in 12 years racing there. Would have been the man to beat on a well-trick and very fast Kawasaki ZX-9R this year. Raced British Superbikes until last year, too.

Would have competed that year on: Pidcock Formula One ZX-9R
Fastest average TT lap: 120.0mph, WSB-spec ZX-7R
Most-used phrase: "I were coming down t'M6, in't van..."

Wozza, TT Nobody

TWO's Deputy Editor. Never been to the Isle of Man before, so quite ready to have his brain re-adjusted by doing 170mph two feet away from a flint wall, and the horror of The Pitstop club at 5am in the morning. Riding around at the back of the pack in the Aprilia Mille Cup this year.

Most-used phrase: "Can I have a receipt for that?"

Gus Scott, TT One Day

TWO's Chief Road Tester is a veteran of the Alternative TT. Has woken up vomiting in every ditch and alleyway to be found on the Isle of Man. A bloody fast rider, Gus is racing a GSX-R1000 in British Superstock this season and has been on the podium already. Go, Gusbuster!

Most-used phrase: "Can we put crank mags on expenses?"

TT Sportsbikes

"It's not a bloody jeep, it's a buggy. It's a truck, it's a four-wheel-drive. Anything but a sodding jeep, okay?" ranted Dave Jefferies as I threw my bags into the back of his pride and joy, a big white jeep, complete with ear-splittingly loud exhaust and an indecent amount of horsepower for a vehicle with the inherent stability of a rollerskate.

Crushing into the motor with legendary TT racers John McGuinness, Ian Lougher and Jim Hodson, we bundled off to our hotel on Douglas seafront, and I got my first glimpse of the Isle of Man. You see unlike the rest of the chaps in the office who know the place like the backs of their hands, I was popping my island cherry big style.

"Wave to the fairies, Wozza," said John a few minutes later.

"The wha..?" was my obvious reply, thinking he'd plainly spent far too long in the bar with our Road Tester Gus and the company credit card before I arrived.  "The fairies, at Fairy Bridge. You have to acknowledge them every time you go past, it's bad luck not to."

Not quite sure if he was taking the piss or not, I waved out the window and muttered "alright, fairies," as four of the fastest men ever around the TT course, men who stare dry stone walls in the face at 180mph racing in the hardest roadrace in the world, cooed "hellooo fairies, how are you?" in unison all around me. And they meant it, too. This was my first taste of the gentle oddness that is the Isle of Man. It's life Jim, but not as we know it. Set your watch to 1955 when you arrive...

Where else could you be refused entry to a nightclub with just seven people in it for not staying in the hotel it was attached to? Where else would it seem normal to meet people so drunk they can't speak at 10 in the morning? And where the hell else could you overtake a police car at 130mph on the open road, and not be breaking the law? The Isle of Man, that's where. Weird, maybe, but also very wonderful indeed.

And the ideal testing ground for the four fastest and most capable sportsbikes on the planet. Track tests are the only way to get the full performance out of superbikes like these, and the TT-course is the ultimate track, replete with lumps, bumps and big, flint walls. These are the same kind of roads you ride your bike on at home, except at the TT circuit, with four TT racers, it's just about as frantic and serious as it can get. If you're in the market for a GSX-R1000, Yamaha R1, Honda FireBlade or Kawasaki ZX-9R, don't go near one until you've read what our TT testers made of them.            

Kawasaki ZX-9R

Kawasaki ZX-9R

I couldn't believe it. I know the TT course is a ludicrously quick place to ride a motorcycle, and that those who race it flat-out on the fastest bikes known to man all have balls the size of watermelons.

But the ZX-9R's speedo in front of my eyes was reading 145mph. The roads around me were - although fairly traffic-free, well-surfaced and open enough for some real madness - still lined with walls and grass banks on one side and large drops into, well, nothing really on the other side. Yet the trio of racers ahead of me had vanished into the twisty distance, making me and the ZX-9R look like we were standing very, very still indeed.

All that was left to indicate they'd ever been there at all as I screamed my way across the Mountain section in their wake were a selection of tell-tale black lines, arcing out of 130mph-plus sweepers. Of course, laying darkies, on road tyres, on road bikes, on the blinking road, it's the most natural thing in the world. We all do it. Err, pardon?

It was madness and an awe-inspiring demonstration of the casual skill and intimate understanding of the TT course these guys all possess in bucketloads. Truly humbling and a very obvious demonstration of why they are professional racers, paid large sums of money to race on the island every year, and the rest of us aren't.

But away from the blatant insanity of flat-out riding on the TT course, there is a point to this little anecdote, because as my mind did backflips over what was going on in front of me, I was also very relieved to be on the ZX-9R.

It's comfortable for starters, so despite my mind working overtime, my body was relaxed. There's no cramping into an extreme arse-up, head-down, wrist-crippling crouch on the Kawasaki, it's more of a gentle flop into a forward-canted, plushly-padded tuck. Ready to attack, but alternatively ready to spend a few hours cruising some fast, sweeping A-roads and taking in the scenery. Not that the scenery was actually on my mind at this point you understand. Well, not beyond the worry of becoming a part of it, anyway.

On top of this, the Kawasaki is still bloody fast, posting the second-highest top speed after the GSX-R1000 down Bruntingthorpe test strip's two-mile runway a couple of days later, and that speed is very accessible. Thanks to the carbs the ZX-9R is still using and the fact that this is one engine that simply loves to be revved, winding the throttle on holds no sudden surprises - just a building head of drive that hauls you from one turn to the next. And in the manic fast stuff we were caning through across the Mountain, the top end was the place to be - the ZX-9R has a nice plateau of killer drive from 9,000rpm all the way to the redline. Ah, there really is nothing to beat properly screwing a 130bhp motorcycle on the open road. Bliss.

Gearbox is pretty good, so dancing through the ratios to keep the motor singing like a canary isn't a problem . The only time the ZX-9R's gearbox can be a drag is at the track, where you can't grab gears as quickly as you'd always like thanks to the amount of travel at the lever - you need a positive foot for fast changes. On the road where - even at high speed - changes are less frantic, the ZX-9R box was one of the nicest to use here.

Then of course there's the handling. The Kawasaki's suspension has been historically panned by all and sundry for being too soft and unsophisticated for hard track use, and rightly so - because it is. But on the road it's another story. The added softness makes the bike more comfortable, and at the same time it's more stable at road-going speeds. Where the GSX-R1000 has a damper to keep it in check, none of the other bikes do. Of these three, the big Kawasaki is the only bike that manages very fast road work without ever threatening to kick off into a big-time tankslapper. It's got user-friendly written all over it - one of the reasons why you see so many of them on the road.

And helpfully enough for the situation I found myself in (trying to follow a bunch of lunatics across the fastest road I'd never seen before in my life), the ZX-9R turns well. Not super-quick or super-responsive, but it's planted and leans as far as you dare, simple as that. It doesn't dive into corners with the speed of the others here, just responds exactly to what you ask of it. No more, no less, and is surprisingly accurate in the way it tracks a line once committed into a turn. And should you totally mess up and find yourself heading into a corner 20mph too hot, the brakes are as reassuringly unfazed as the handling, pumping back an ever-increasing wall of stopping power the harder you haul on the lever. Not as sharp as the Blade's or R1's, but plenty good enough, and better than the GSX-R's. All this makes for a fast, and unflustered road package.

Some might say the ZX-9R is past it. Too heavy, too big, too slow, nah, forget it mate, and buy a nice new GSX-R1000, they'll say.

But to be honest, while that might ring true for trackdays and racing, for a bike to live with every day, that'll take in a spot of fast touring down to the South of France, hack the Sunday blast with your mates, scratch with the best of them and still show 180mph on the speedo when you need it to, the ZX-9R suddenly makes a lot of sense. Add to all this the fact it's easier to insure than the rest of this pack, and cheaper to buy too if you shop around, and the supposed old has-been of the hypersports class suddenly becomes very attractive.

Particularly when you've watched Jim Hodson ride the ZX-9R around the TT circuit. I didn't think it was possible to stop a roadbike that quickly on public roads, and then fire it out of corners with the rear tyre sliding out sideways. But it is.

Kawasaki ZX-9R TT Opinion

Jim Hodson

The Kawasaki felt just like it did when I raced it here last year, apart from the suspension being too soft. Still handled alright though - you could hold it flat-out over the bumps and it'd plough on through where some of the others would slap about. It still turned in sweetly though - good balance to the chassis.

Biggest problem up-front was it felt like there was no compression damping, so braking hard into corners the front dived right down then came back real slow.

But the motor's dead strong for a 900, especially the top end. Only the GSX-R felt faster. But boy, was it faster! This was the first time I'd ridden a GSX-R1000 properly, and it's unbelievable. The torque is just monstrous. Hauling out of corners it's almost irrelevant what gear you're in - it just pulls like a train. It felt about 50bhp up on everything else here. I know it's not, it's just a new generation of bike.

But it's not perfect. To me, the front end felt odd after being used to the ZX-9R so long. Maybe that steering damper was doing it. The GSX-R would still have been the TT winner this year had we been racing. Its torque just meant that, especially over the bumpier sections of the course, you could ride the midrange to help keep it stable without losing any time, rather than having to scream the top end and risk more flightiness up front.

The R1 was bloody good too. Could run wide out of fast corners, and a bit twitchy, but otherwise she's a stormer.

Biggest disappointment for me was the FireBlade. That was just off its head whenever we hit any bumps. The back end was too soft so there wasn't enough weight over the front, so it kicked off slapping about and making you slow down when you didn't want to. A new shock and/or steering damper would sort it .

It even felt a bit slow too compared to the rest of the bikes here, and didn't seem to have the torque of the others either. Maybe this particular bike wasn't a good example of the breed?

If it came to splashing my own cash on a roadbike, I'd go for the Kawasaki. In fact, I already have, bought one last year and no, it wasn't a  present from Kawasaki. But if I was buying a racebike, it would just have to be the GSX-R, wouldn't it... Jim Hodson

Jim's suspension settings for the ZX-9R

Rear: Plus two clicks of rebound over stock, and that's it
Front: Plus three clicks of compression damping over stock settings, all other settings stock

Honda Fireblade

Honda Fireblade

"If you could just come around the corner, then brush the bank here as you wheelie out towards me," said James the photographer nonchalantly to a FireBlade-mounted McGuinness.

The corner in question was the 90° downhill right-hander of Creg-Ny-Baa at the end of the Mountain section, and from just beyond half way around it's lined on the outside edge with a four-foot high grass bank. Between the white line marking the edge of the road and the bank itself is a strip of tarmac about a foot wide and coated in gravel, and it was in this strip John was being asked to wheelie as he gassed it out of the bend, half-cranked over and fully committed at about 70mph. Drift a few inches wide and the Blade's left footpeg would snag the bank and he'd definitely go down.

In a race, all the top riders end up brushing the bank at the Creg, but that's in a race. With a race head on, and a large pay packet on the table for getting around faster than anyone else. This situation was none of the above, but McGuinness slipped his lid on, mumbled "no worries," and proceeded to howl around the corner, brushing the bank in exactly the same spot, time after time. And one-by-one, the other three riders all did exactly the same. I shouldn't have been surprised really, after all, I've seen the pictures before like everyone else, but to see it in the flesh was bloody impressive to say the least, and not a little humbling. I mean, where do you learn to do something like that?

Well, buying yourself a FireBlade would be as good a start as any. It ain't going to turn you into a bank-brushing riding god overnight, but of the bikes here it's the one that's the most forgiving, most of the time, while still packing the performance to run with the rest of the pack when you turn up the wick. Ultimately it cannot match the GSX-R's sheer stomp, but in the right hands it'll stay with an R1, and leave the ZX-9 floundering. You just have to look at the results in the British Superstocks Championship to see the truth in that.

Thing about the Blade is it gives you its 128bhp on a plate, and the chassis lets you use every single morcel of horsepower. Hop aboard the Honda from any of the other bikes here, and it feels the smallest, the lightest and the most physically manageable. A lot of this is down to the size and shape of the tank between your legs, because a glance at the spec sheets says the GSX-R1000 is exactly the same weight, and the R1 only five kilos heavier. But they both feel like serious, don't-mess-with-me-or-you'll-know-about-it, 1,000cc motorcycles though, where the Blade feels more like a 750, and not one that's about to rip your head off either. For some, this friendlier feel to the bike has been enough for them to buy one right there. But others want more savgery to their superbike - and who can blame them?

Either way, those prepared to look beneath the surface will find a very serious animal. Because although the Blade can still play docile and jink through traffic or cruise up and down motorways all day long (only the ZX-9R is more comfortable), it is also an awesome handler, with the legs to match.

The light feel to the bike that makes the Blade so easy to get on with translates into super-responsive, sharp steering that drops you into corners very quickly and lets you almost pick a line at will all the way through. In fact, there are moments when fast road cornering on the Blade has you feeling as if you're floating just above the bike, controlling it with gentle inputs through your feet on the pegs, knees on the tank and hands at the bars as it skims lightly across the ripples beneath you. And powering out of a turn, the fuel-injected 929cc motor punches in hard from 7,000rpm, pulling you upright and flinging you onto the next corner. There's an enormous amount of feedback from the bike and all in all, it's a pretty sublime experience. On fast A-roads, few bikes comes together like a FireBlade does.

But over the incredibly fast and incredibly bumpy Isle of Man TT course, the Blade was constantly skittering about at speed in a way none of the other bikes here quite managed. It was actually quite alarming. Having ridden a lot of FireBlades over a lot of road and track miles, I'd always found the new Blade to have exemplary handling manners, and never found it bad enough to need to back off, but flat-out on the Isle of Man roads it turned nasty a couple of times in the racers' hands, and left them just a little concerned.

Granted, they were hammering down some seriously bumpy roads at daft, daft racing speeds, but the fact remains: the Blade slapped badly, while the rest kept a higher degree of composure. Nothing a steering damper wouldn't sort out, but then ask yourself how many times do you ride your FireBlade as fast as John McGuinness over a very bumpy stretch of public road? Exactly...

Bar this glitch, the FireBlade remains an incredibly balanced and potent package that gives you handling once the preserve of traditionally more nimble 750cc sports bikes, with the easy power on tap that only a 1,000cc motor can provide. The fuel-injection and exhaust-valve systems fitted to this bike in its year 2000 makeover aren't quite as flawless as the stuff as found on Suzuki's GSX-R1000 and Honda's own CBR600, and can be a little snatchy in low rpm, low gear situations.

The gearbox does tend to clunk a bit, but it is very positive and no-one complained of false neutrals or other gearbox gremlins cropping up at any stage, fast or slow. You could be fairly ham-fisted with the gearbox and it would just get on with it, which is good when you're doing 150mph on rough roads you don't know.

One area that is simply awesome on the FireBlade is the brake system. Holy cow, what a set of stoppers! The most feel, the most power and the sharpest initial bite make these the brakes of choice on this test. Those massively over-sized 330mm discs might have something to do with that. Just one finger is required from any speed to stop the Blade dead in its tracks. Lovely.

And that's about yer lot for the FireBlade. A storming package that hasn't sold as well as it should have thanks to its less-than-wild appearance and apparently placid demeanour - which has (prematurely) caused the nutty crew to plump for other options like the Yamaha and Suzuki. For those in the know however, the Blade is an absolute tool that's easier to live with than anything else here, ZX-9R excepted. And our example in yellow and silver looked about 30mph faster than previous paintjobs. As classy a tool as it ever was, the FireBlade is the thinking man's superbike.

Honda FireBlade TT Opinion:

John McGuinness

I like the FireBlade, like the softer power delivery that's dead usable and linear. It steers really fast too, and feels light, compact and aggressive where the others felt more like armchairs.

The brakes are stunning, and with the sharp steering meant that trailing the brakes deep into a corner while banked right over was never a problem. This surprised me because most of the roadbikes I've ever ridden don't really do that the way a proper racebike does.

It does feel a bit nervous up front though, and shakes its head over the 130mph-plus bumpy sections of the course. But then there's always a trade-off between fast steering and stability in an all-round package which is the compromise you're always looking for when setting bikes up for the TT circuit. A damper would sort it, without doubt.

As a genuine, useable roadbike it's pretty impressive really. I mean to dive straight on and get stuck in the way we did, especially over The Mountain where we really weren't hanging about was amazing and it did everything that was asked of it. Not bad for a bike you can buy in the shops with mirrors, lights and even a pillion seat is it?

It did feel slightly underpowered compared to the others at times, but I still saw 170mph and above on the straight down from the Creg to Brandish. That's pretty daft for a roadbike and how much more can you actually use in reality? Not sure really... but the yellow paint makes it look fast even when it's going nowhere. Definitely looks a load better now.

The Blade's an awesome wheelie bike too - just sit back in the saddle and let the motor pull through first and up she comes as the midrange turns to top-end. Then keep chucking gears at it as long as you like and the front wheel will hover three feet in the air forever. Or at least until the next corner comes up, eh?

John's suspension settings for the Honda FireBlade

Rear: Two more clicks of compression from standard, and an extra full turn of preload
Front: Drop yokes 2mm, leave settings standard

Yamaha YZF-R1

Yamaha YZF-R1

The poor Porsche 911 Turbo driver. There was a Porsche gathering on the island while we were there you see, and so there were flocks of the bloody things milling about.

Every two minutes some herbert would come roaring towards whichever corner we happened to be parked up at, roof down on his Boxster/944/911/GT2 whatever-it-was, blonde filly giggling beside him like something out of Thelma and Louise, and then proceed to hit the brakes before dawdling around the bend in front of us at a pace more suited to a stairlift than a 90 grand performance car before revving away down the next straight in a flurry of wheelspin and Van Halen.

"I'm having the next one of those pricks," said Jefferies, sat on the R1 and obviously tiring of the endless procession of wasted performance passing before our eyes. And true to his word, as soon as the next 911 bobbled past DJ was off in hot pursuit. On the back wheel.

He caught the car, then passed it at over 130mph, still on the back wheel, all the while peering down at the bemused, flustered and ever-so-slightly annoyed Porsche pilot. £9,000 bike eats £90,000 supercar. Ha, seeya. My how we laughed.

Which just makes the point that you know exactly what you're getting with the R1. Where the ZX-9R is pretending to be a big-bore supersports bike but in reality is a very fast sports-touring missile the R1 is a lean, mean, hard-arsed superbike of the highest order. From the pointy tail to the twin bug-eyed stare of the headlights, this bike is all about being very fast and very naughty indeed. And to own one and not misbehave is as unnatural as a politician keeping his trousers fastened while on Clapham Common.

Bit of a shock then that the R1 is bearable in town, can manage pillions without them wanting to throw themselves under the nearest bus after a mile and can also get you around in passable comfort. Compared to a squodgy tourer like Yamaha's own FJR1300 or the town brilliance of a 125 scooter, the R1 is useless, but for a bike so focused it manages day-to-day practicalities quite adequately.

Just  sit on an R 1 and you know it means business. The wide, angular tank narrows to nothing between your thighs, and the tuck of your feet onto the high pegs feels entirely natural in relation to this. A long stretch forward to the wide and low-set bars puts you right over the front wheel and 100% poised for battle behind the tiny, purposeful screen. It feels like its flat out just sat still.

Get on the move and at low speeds your wrists will start to know about it long before they would on the ZX-9R or Blade as your bodyweight comes to bear, but get moving and the R1 comes alive.

The motor may only be making the same power as the FireBlade (or 1bhp less in the case of our test example), but thanks to its extra cubes manages to throw that power at you with far more savagery. A quick look at the power curves for the two bikes sees the Honda building steadily to peak power at 11,000rpm, while the Yamaha's already there 1,000rpm earlier. The feel from the seat is that the R1 is most definitely the faster bike.

Running with carburettors and not fuel injection (surely on its way for the R1 in 2002) the R1's throttle response is very sweet, although the action of the twistgrip itself feels a touch heavy. Either way, there's no jerking on and off the throttle, but neither are there any nasty lags in the power delivery when you whack the gas on and suddenly ask for everything the engine has to offer. Nope, there's just one big spread of drive with a fat midrange punch that outdoes all but the GSX-R and makes fast riding - anywhere - as easy as falling off a big, greasy log spinning in a vat of oil.

Good job then that the brakes are so good. On the bike's launch they set the standard in braking and only Honda so far have managed to catch up, bettering the R1's by a fraction with a slightly sharper bite from the instant you hit the lever. But either way, the R1's brakes are still bloody powerful pieces of hardware that manage to make the GSX-R's impressive-looking six-piston jobbies feel a bit duff, to be honest.

Handling-wise round the TT course, the R1 is a curious mix of rock-solid stability and erratic head-shaking. This sounds rather confusing, so I'll attempt to explain.

If you happen to land a ton-plus wheelie (bound to happen sooner or later on an R1) with the front wheel anything other than dead straight or, heaven forbid, on a cat's eye or bump, it will most likely go utterly epileptic at the front end, snapping the bars from lock-to-lock so hard the pistons will be pushed back in the brake calipers and you'll have no front brakes left until you've pumped them back up again. Even when you're expecting it, this is a less than pleasant experience, and if you aren't, it's downright terrifying. It'll also do this if you're hard on the power in third or fourth gear and hit a particularly dodgy series of bumps.

However, so long as the surface is fairly smooth, the rider is in complete control and willing to stay on the power, the R1's relatively long suspension will absorb most things that are chucked at it and the bike will stay on the straight and narrow. So yes, the R1 can slap with the best of them if provoked enough. But otherwise, even flat-out across the TT course in the hands of outright lap record holder Jefferies, the bike never kicked dangerously out of shape. Both Gus and myself were expecting it to and rode with the necessary caution to start with, and both of us were similarly impressed to find it well-planted everywhere.

As you would expect of a bike weighing 175kg with a 1,395mm wheelbase, the R1 dives into corners with pretty indecent haste but a good degree of accuracy. It doesn't have the finite level of mid-corner agility the FireBlade or GSX-R do in standard trim and it needs a little more muscle from its rider to hold it on line, but the current model is well-improved over the first incarnation which, to be honest, was a bit of a point-and-squirt machine.

Where on the old R1 you'd barrel up to the corner, slam on the brakes, get turned as fast as possible, and then gas it out hard, using the motor to make up any ground lost in the turn itself, on the present model you can carry heaps more speed through the corners, thanks to the chassis changes Yamaha made a couple of years ago.

But, and between you and me, I'd like to bet there's one particular Porsche driver out there wishing they'd never made the bloody thing in the first place. And, on a separate point, if Yamaha hadn't built the R1, Suzuki wouldn't have built the GSX-R1000. On it goes - The FireBlade remapped our senses back in 1993, the R1 blew us away when it exploded onto the scene in 1997 and now the GSX-R1000 has moved the game on again. You could - and people often do - ask where will it end? After experiencing a motorcycle like the Yamaha R1 and having your eyes forced into the back of your skull by its sheer motive force the answer could be, who cares? Just enjoy it while you can. The R1 is a tool and in the hands of Dave Jefferies the fastest thing around the Island. Respect doesn't come any more due than that.

Yamaha R1 TT Opinion:

David Jefferies

Having raced R1s for the last three years, I know them so well any R1 always feels like my own when I get on and play now. It's really compact, but there's a surprising amount of room thanks to the long seat. A lot of shorter racers pad out the back of the seat with foam, but for a 6' 2" bloke like myself, it fits just fine as it is. The way it stops and turns is unbelievable for a road bike. Okay, it's slower-steering than my Formula One race bike, but that's had a money-no-object suspension and chassis makeover. The only place the R1's starting to show its age is in the power - it's on the verge of feeling slow in stock trim nowadays. Especially compared to the GSX-R. Holy cow, what a bloody motorbike that is. The Suzuki's moved the game on to a new level. Personally, I didn't reckon there was that much difference handling-wise between it and the R1, but where the Suzuki scores every time is raw power. Both bikes are very stable, the Suzuki slightly more so thanks to the damper, but that stability masked some of the feedback for me. It was stable all the time... I prefer my bikes a little lively, so I know what they're up to. Especially at the TT.

Talking of stability, the Blade wasn't. At low speeds the front felt light, and over fast bumpy sections, it went apeshit. If ever a bike needed a steering damper on the track, the Blade's it. Bloody good brakes though, probably equal top alongside the R1's. The Kawasaki's were dead solid and predictable - bit like the whole bike really - and the GSX-R's come last. There was just enough initial bite, but after that it was like "where's the stopping power?"

Coming back to the ZX-9R, I liked it. It's the one I'd choose for a cross-continent thrash. The seat's the plushest, the riding position the most relaxed and the suspension's the softest which makes for a very easygoing package. It's still a seriously fast motorbike, probably the fastest here after the GSX-R in terms of top speed, but it's just the least racy bike here.

For fast larking about with my mates, wheelying and naughtiness I'd take the R1, but for a balls-out thrash on my own, it would have to be the GSX-R. Love that power.

Suzuki GSX-R1000

Suzuki GSX-R1000

"Who's the daddy? Who's the daddy now?" laughed Ian Lougher - and you might logically assume he was talking about the GSX-R1000 after a particularly hard thrash. After all, it is the bike he would have been racing at the TT this year had the races gone ahead, and the bike we reckoned was the one to beat.

However, Mr Lougher was not talking about the GSX-R and how awesome it was at this point, he was making sure we all appreciated his guile and cunning in getting the night porter to open the hotel bar, when we'd been assured it was in fact closed. After all, it was 2am. Whatever happened next is anyone's guess, but if the pictures we later found on Gus's camera were anything to go by, it looked like everyone had a good time.

No one was really having a very good time at breakfast the following morning though, but we were there to work and 20 minutes later were all at a nearby filling station getting the bikes gassed-up for the day's thrashing round the TT circuit. And what of the GSX-R?

Well, although it would probably be more sensible not to ride a 144bhp motorbike with a hangover, if you weren't feeling too well, the GSX-R would look after you nicely.

True, the pegs are very high and your legs do get fairly-squashed up, but at least the seat is supple and the bars, although a fair stretch away, really not too extreme to cause bad discomfort at low speeds. And from here, you could snick into third gear through the slick gearbox, pull away, and forget about changing gear again until you reached your destination, just rolling on and off the throttle, wafting your way up hill and down dale. Fuss-free, no-brainer, fast transport. Bit like a very powerful and good-looking scooter really.

Obviously, there is an awful lot more to the GSX-R1000 than this, but thanks to that stunningly powerful and tractable motor, you can be so lazy riding the thing and still keep the others in sight it isn't true. Got distracted and gone around that last corner 20mph slower than everybody else? No worries, wind on the gas to catch up. Fell asleep at the last junction and everyone else is two miles ahead already? Just wind on the gas and catch up.

If it sounds daft, that's because it is. Because frankly, the GSX-R has taken this whole class to another level and in terms of sheer power and how easy it is to use, it wipes the floor with the competition. Look at the top speeds we got on the day - the GSX-R is a whole 10mph faster than the next bike (the ZX-9R). Look at the power figures. Same story - the GSX-R is making a full 15bhp more than next most powerful bike (the FireBlade). And at 989cc, it's not even the biggest-bore motorcycle in the test (R1, 998cc). What a bloody monster it is.

Then there's the handling. It's beautiful. Accurate, stable, and devastatingly quick to boot. It turns in considerably faster than the R1, is as solid as the ZX-9R mid-corner, can change line almost as quickly as the FireBlade and hauls out of the corners like nothing else here. Sound perfect? Well almost...

One down side is the brakes. Smart-looking six-piston Tokicos they may be, but behind the looks they're really a bit ordinary. Sure there may be enough braking power on tap, but it requires a real effort at the lever to actually get it all out. There's a slightly disconcerting lag between tugging the lever and the braking coming into effect, too, that isn't there on any of the other bikes. Which, coupled with less feel at the lever than the rest means these brakes are at the bottom in this group. You've got to get some heat into them before they do much at all out on the open road. A change of pads would probably work wonders, too.

But this bike just blows me away, It really does.  To ruffle its feathers you need to be going very fast indeed. It's so steady at speed you often end up travelling a lot faster than you would on the other bikes, because you can. The GSX-R's limits are that step further on than any of the other bikes here, that a less-experienced rider could easily ride it fast, but may then find themselves caught out. The GSX-R1000 can handle it no worries, it's the rider's head that'll implode first.

Here's an example: tooling out of a 100mph sweeper, you wind on the gas hard and head for the horizon. Because the GSX-R has that much more power on tap, and you feel so comfortable using it, even at these speeds you can still ask for too much from the motor and, before you know it, the back end's sliding out. Or the front wheel is in the air. Now the chassis is so good that if you're experienced enough not to panic this needn't be a cause for a alarm, because the bike'll sort itself out before you've really had time to think about it. In fact it's probably a cause for celebration and a highly-exaggerated rear-wheel-steering or mono-wheeling story in the pub later on. But if you're caught on the hop, chances are you're suddenly out of your depth and who knows what the consequences might be? There's nothing inherently unmanageable about a GSX-R1000, but it is damned deceptive. One minute you're burbling through town admiring your reflection in shop windows, the next minute you're praying to the Good Lord above to deliver you from this evil. Just be aware and you'll have no problems.

But enough preaching - let's get back to the lunacy. Because that is really what the GSX-R is about. Let's not try and justify it any other way, because you simply don't buy a bike like this for the practicalities. You buy it for wasting everything and everyone on your favourite road. It is pure, vicious power distilled into a package and chassis that lets you use it all - a stunning trick that outdoes all the other bikes in this class. It's almost revolution more than evolution, that's how extreme it is.

You buy a GSX-R1000 for 130mph wheelies that will probably see you locked up for three months, you buy it for flat-out trips across France that'll leave your eyes bloodshot and your body shaking long after you've stopped for the night. You buy it to demolish A-roads and B-roads in a thrice. In short, you buy it because it's the baddest, sharpest tool on the sportsbike market yet made. Infact, the GSX-R1000 is just downright rude...

Suzuki GSX-R TT Opinion:

Ian Lougher

First time I jumped on a GSX-R, I didn't think "wow, this is some kind of mad animal," I was just impressed with the whole package. Don't get me wrong, it's stunningly fast and the quickest here, but I'm used to racing 150bhp-plus bikes so the GSX-R's power wasn't exactly a shock. Saying that, when I got off the bike on this trip, I realised it was heading for the same sort of power as the Yamaha R71 (R7 chassis meets tuned R1 motor) I raced here last year. It feels revvy compared to the R1, spins up more freely, and thanks to the fuel injection it can sometimes kick in with the power too hard coming back off a closed throttle. Particularly around 6,000rpm. Oh, it's a bit prone to wheelspin too thanks to the amount of power you can put down. I've had tyres turn on the rim before now which just shows the power that's available - we're looking at 158bhp on my production bike just with an end-can and a blueprinted motor.

If it has a weak point, it's the brakes. Ridden on its own they feel fine, but after riding the other bikes they felt a bit lacking. There's just a lag between getting on the lever and the stopping starting. If you get my drift. It was comfortable too, but not as comfortable as the Kawasaki. Now that bike surprised me. I was expecting it to be a bit of a lorry but after a few miles on it and it not misbehaving I started picking the pace up and really enjoyed it. It had the smoothest throttle response and the speed was good too. Granted, it didn't steer quite as quick as the others but was accurate enough. Gave me loads of confidence. It was set up very soft though - probably why it was so comfortable - but that wasn't such a problem. There was enough warning before it let go, and you could get near its limits more easily. Good gearbox too.

As for the R1, I'd never really ridden a standard one before this test, and I liked it. Like with the ZX-9R, the carbs meant no snatch getting back on the gas, and the brakes were the pick of the bunch. Steered dead quick, too. But that riding position sticks you right over the front end and the screen's small - even for shortarses like me. Gearbox was pretty heavy and it seemed a bit lacking in grunt after the GSX-R. Stronger than the Blade though, and on a par with the ZX-9 for me.

FireBlade was a disappointment. I thought I'd get on that and love it, but it scared the life out of me. Mind you it didn't help that my first ride was on the bumpiest part of the course. On the smoother sections you could snap on the throttle that much harder and use more of the power more often thanks to it packing a slightly smaller punch than the others here. Still a very fast motorcycle though.

Verdict

Verdict

So much power, so much choice. But if you're in the market for one of these, which one can you simply not live without?

After four days tearing around the world's best road race circuit, all the while bathed in the finest sunshine, the first thing we can say for certain is that there are no bad bikes here. Whichever way you cut it, 130bhp-plus sportsbikes blow our socks off.

Like the Isle of Man and the TT races, all four bikes are distilled gems of pure performance, freely available to anyone able to stand up and swear allegiance to all that is good in life. Choose speed, choose power, choose 180mph on the speedo wrapped in a supremely-responsive chassis, all the while smiling in the knowledge our society isn't quite as tightly wrapped in cotton wool as it sometimes seems. Yet.

As for which fast fruit to pluck from this performance tree, it all depends on what you're after. If you're a trackday deity, in pure racetrack terms the Kawasaki ZX-9R is the least-capable bike here. Out of the crate and on standard suspension settings and tyres, it was the one whose limits appear first, as the suspension wallows and pitches the bike about and precise, high-speed laps become sweat-soaked, fraught affairs. But then, the racetrack is not where the ZX-9R is designed to be. Because in everyday terms the Kawasaki is a gem. Very, very fast and revvy, but very stable and assured at the same time. Around the TT course, the ZX-9R was probably the easiest to ride fast, and the most comfortable too. Oh, and the best price tag here makes it more attractive still.

The FireBlade on the other hand is the most precise track-tool that really lets you use all the power it has on offer, and packs the finest brakes on test into the bargain. More sporting than the Kawasaki, it's also a less intimidating package to throw about than anything else in this company. And it's not far behind the ZX-9R in terms of being able to really live with from day to day.

The front end of the FireBlade could get a little frisky over really bumpy surfaces. You had to be going absolutely banzai, like over a ton, on bumpy roads for it to really become a factor, but the Honda is certainly the quickest-steering bike on this test. Which makes it ultimately the most responsive, and lightest-feeling too, but a definite candidate for a steering damper in hooligan hands.

As for the Yamaha R1, it is still a pure bad-to-the-bone motorcycle. The motor may feel slightly lacklustre next to the all-consuming GSX-R, but it's still a mighty potent weapon, with a stronger midrange hit than all but the Suzuki.

The Blade may be easier to get on and ride fast on immediately, but the R1 ain't far behind, and on the roads that midrange means easier speed more of the time, while the recently-improved chassis means sharper corner-slicing. The chassis isn't as direct as the FireBlade's and the engine isn't as strong as the GSX-Rs, but the R1 still looks wicked and goes like stink, and it's cult status is certainly guaranteed for this year.

Which brings us to the GSX-R1000. A whole new level in 1,000cc motorcycles, and a total weapon. The motor out-stomps the competition everywhere from tickover to the redline, from sheer usability to outright top speed. And when a motor as good as this comes in a chassis this sweet, all you can do is take your hats off to the men in white coats at Suzuki. They must be giggling mad. The best-handling, most-powerful supersports bike out there today is exactly what the GSX-R1000 is. Every time I get off one of these I babble like a child for five minutes afterwards. Thing is, it's biggest trick lies not in how utterly, utterly mental it is, but more in the fact that it is totally civilised when you're not headbanging. A fairly remarkable piece of engineering, for sure, and the undisputed winner in what is an incredibly hot class.

On the road, any one of these four motorcycles will simply blow you away. Every time I get on one of these bikes I cannot believe that these things are manufactured for use and sale on public roads. They should come with health hazards attached as standard. Not that I'm complaining, mind, I'm just gobsmacked and delighted that in these over-governed times, bikes like this are allowed. And when you learn that both Yamaha and Honda have new developments of their R1 and FireBlade models for 2002, you're left shaking your head in wonder. Where will it all end? Who honestly cares - just keep bringing it on, lads. 

We told you we were recreating the TT right the way up to staging a race between the top riders. We couldn't quite manage a full-on road race due to certain irregularities between our paperwork and the local gendarmes, so we needed an event in its place to replicate the TT racing as closely as possible...

We pondered long and hard trying to find a suitable event. A donkey race was suggested, then rejected as we couldn't find any donkeys, and the sack race idea went the same way. Someone wanted to have a pool tournament, but being in a bar that would invariably have degenerated into a dribbling, brawling mess.

Nope, only one event would do, and that was an egg and spoon race. On real roads. Oh yes, none of your namby-pamby school playing fields for these lads, this egg and spoon race would be held in the Isle of Man TT pit-lane.

Peter Kneale, "the voice of the TT" came along to commentate, and after selecting their eggs and spoons (homologated especially for the event, of course), Jefferies, Lougher, McGuinness and, entering as a Wild Card for his first ever TT competition, TWO's own Gus Scott (Jim Hodson sadly had to go home before the event), lined up at one end of the pit-lane.

The flag drops, the bullshit stops. In a close-fought race, including a pit-stop half-way to change eggs, Jefferies takes an early lead, challenged hard by McGuinness. Elbows and knees everywhere as they come down the main straight in a tight bunch. Gus unfortunately loses control of his spoon, blaming a poor silverware choice, and leaves a nasty eggy mess on the road, while Lougher almost pips the other two to the win, but loses his footing on a passing boy scout, wrecking his egg beyond repair. He gallantly tries to scoop it back onto the spoon and limp home for some points, but it isn't happening.

Which leaves Jefferies to take the win, McGuinness romping home a clean second, and Ian and Gus shattered (hoho) men.