What's an inch-and-a-half worth?

About £5 million, apparently

IF you've been riding a while there's a fair probability you've been knocked off by some dozy car driver. You might have got hurt and there's even a chance you've had some compensation, but we're betting it didn't come close to the payout one Californian rider has just been awarded.

How much? $7,553,000. That's about £5 million in English money. Why so much? Because the injury, while not leading to death or amputation, left his old chap 1.5 inches shorter than it was prior to the accident.

It turns out Matthew Wall had been riding in San Diego in 2007 when he was hit by a shuttle bus. Right where it hurts. It lead to two words guaranteed to send a shudder down any man's back when compiled in a single sentence: “crushing” and “penis”.

While doctors saved the vital appendage there was a need for reconstructive surgery (there's that shudder again) and damage to nerves and arteries in Wall's John Thomas, plus a fractured pubic bone. Nasty, but we imagine the jackpot-sized payout of $5,000,000-per-inch is probably helping dull the pain a little.

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