Down in the Dumps

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Down in the Dumps

After the events of the last few weeks (my sis in law died), despite attending a fantastic family wedding at the end of last week, today I'm feeling really down in the dumps. Its the wrong time to not be motivated for work as I'm really busy, but I just want to curl up in a corner. Bikes not on the road at the mo, and work really busy, so fucking off somewhere to have a therapeutic blast is, sadly, not an option. Any good ideas for how I can cheer myself up and stop being a grumpy useless cow whilst sitting here at my desk?

Go work on the bikes.Just being busy will help, and if it's helping to get teh bikes on the road that'll give you a purpose.

I heard that swallowing some semen helps. Here, have some of mine.

Inhale some nitrous oxide

a) Seroxat/Prozacb) Pull yourself together, womanc) Take up gardeningTry b then c, and a as a last resort.

go & have a bit of time for you. Have a good blub. Wander round a church helps. & then out into the sunshine. Can do over lunchtime. Buy something small & frivolous just for you. Or a book you've been meaning to read. Or just what takes your fancy then & there.Chocolate fix. Small one. Quality.Plan something nice for someone tonight.Really sorry to hear about your sister in law.

Masturbate then let out a massive scream when you orgasm.it'll put a huge grin on everyones face in the office,grinning like yawning is infectious.Go on i dare you

mr tack wrote

Masturbate then let out a massive scream when you orgasm.it'll put a huge grin on everyones face in the office,grinning like yawning is infectious.Go on i dare you

My editors face is a picture

Find a midget, and make them into your gimp. I think that would cheer me up no end.

Hey come to devon with sandy and me.

KR1Slapper wrote

My editors face is a picture

Moan a lisa ?Tell her to try it too

mr tack wrote

Masturbate then let out a massive scream when you orgasm.it'll put a huge grin on everyones face in the office,grinning like yawning is infectious.Go on i dare you

do some thing to treat yourself that you consider to be a luxury. whether its buying some dead expensive bath oil/cooking something you love but never normally bother to do/manicure/facial, what ever, but do it for yourself and yourself only.some hard core full on excercise that really gets the blood pumping and the sweat pouring.go for a walk somewhere really nice, alongside a river that runs thro some woods, or across some moors or somewhere else exqually as remote. find a good spot with something to echo sound back off and SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU FUCKING CAN works a treat that does, esp when you hear the scream come echoing back at ya then have a really nice relaxing walk back.smash something up. preferably something that makes nice breaky smashy noises.do something nice for someone. always makes me feel better, putting a smile on someone elses face.is all else fails, chocolate and wine and a good girly movie to sob yer heart out too and you'l feel better after as your sat at your desk and prob cant do any of the above til after work, read the inappropriote joke thread, always puts a smile of my face. either that or the fart thread of yoricks

Miss Mini Mofo wrote

, read the inappropriote joke thread, always puts a smile of my face. either that or the fart thread of yoricks

Or the poo thread of Gibbo's

Am I the only one thinking this was the return of Scrapheap Challenge

'Go work on the bikes', 'Devon', 'new shoes'...all while sat at your desk?! What they are trying to say, must then be: learn to achieve full corporeal astral projection in one easy step.I'm sure one of VDs resident New Age fuckwits will pop along to explain how any minute...

Miss Mini Mofo wrote

do some thing to treat yourself that you consider to be a luxury. whether its buying some dead expensive bath oil/cooking something you love but never normally bother to do/manicure/facial, what ever, but do it for yourself and yourself only.some hard core full on excercise that really gets the blood pumping and the sweat pouring.go for a walk somewhere really nice, alongside a river that runs thro some woods, or across some moors or somewhere else exqually as remote. find a good spot with something to echo sound back off and SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU FUCKING CAN works a treat that does, esp when you hear the scream come echoing back at ya then have a really nice relaxing walk back.smash something up. preferably something that makes nice breaky smashy noises.do something nice for someone. always makes me feel better, putting a smile on someone elses face.is all else fails, chocolate and wine and a good girly movie to sob yer heart out too and you'l feel better after as your sat at your desk and prob cant do any of the above til after work, read the inappropriote joke thread, always puts a smile of my face. either that or the fart thread of yoricks

I like the smashing things up and screaming loudly suggestions a lot

KR1Slapper wrote

Any good ideas for how I can cheer myself up and stop being a grumpy useless cow whilst sitting here at my desk?

Book a short holiday?

Deffo read the inappropriate joke thread, always puts a smile on me

excellent call on the hard exercise from miss MM. Gets stack loads of good brain stuff going & gets anger out. This is seriously good.

Ooooh one more thing. if the bikes off the road so cant get a buzz that way, do what i did on friday. thorpe park september sickie £18screamed my head off all day long, LMFAO at my mates screaming their heads off all day long, got soaked on the log flume, several times, screamed my head of some more, acted like little kids, ate toffee apples and jelly sweets, laughed some more, screamed some more, felt sick, ate more, screamed more, felt sick again, had a fridge magnet made of us screaming our heads off, laughed at the fridge magnet, screamed some more, went home. top class day, cheered me up no end and was just what the doctor ordered. i'd recommend it to anyone

No ideas I'm afraid. I just tried Tack's idea I've an appointment with HR at 14:30 Time is what you need. I've never felt as low as when my dad died (21 years ago). After the funeral I felt as if I was on my own with no-one to turn to.My mum had died many years earlier and I really felt as if I was alone in the world. (I was married to Mrs AJ and there was also my sister, but there were no close adults I could turn to if needed).It a cliche, but it is true. Time is a great healer. Slowly you'll remember the good times and the pain will ease until you can remember them without the tears. It may not seem so now, but trust me. (Have i ever lied to you before ).

byker28i wrote

Am I the only one thinking this was the return of Scrapheap Challenge

reruns of that at 3:30am kept me going when I was puppy sitting. OK, build something & smash it up properly then!

Miss Mini Mofo wrote

top class day, cheered me up no end and was just what the doctor ordered. i'd recommend it to anyone

Genius!

KR1Slapper wrote

I like the smashing things up and screaming loudly suggestions a lot

Poor wynn Mate ive got some superglue and ear plugs if you need them.

Smear ink on all the ear pieces of the office phones. Place drawing pins on the visitor's seats.Buy a soft porn book and leave it on someone's desk.Walk up to anyone who is on the phone and pull the phone away from their ear. They instinctively pull it back hard towards their ear. So let go of it and watch them whack themselves in the ear with it. Amuses the wee wee out of me that one.

KR1Slapper wrote

I like the smashing things up and screaming loudly suggestions a lot

honestly, it works a treat. screaming like a banshee is fecking good therapy. combine it with something funny like thorpe park and you're well away breaky break stuff too, just make sure its nowt you value charity shop visit for loadsa jam jars and buy a catapult set up a wee target thingy in you work car park if there is one. anyone complains, they can become a moving target

mr tack wrote

Poor wynn Mate ive got some superglue and ear plugs if you need them.

The 'things' could possibly be my 'things'...so a couple of lollipop sticks and some elastic bands might be more appropriate!

KR1Slapper wrote

Genius!

i was so chuffed with it that i bought a bounce back ticket for a tenner so am planning on goin again verrrrry soon i'l let ya know

Wyn D'oh wrote

I'm sure one of VDs resident New Age fuckwits will pop along to explain how any minute...

Hello? You called ? How may I be of assistance? ..ahem....oh....., hang on....I thought that said 'resident Old age fuckwits.....damn.....

Wyn D'oh wrote

The 'things' could possibly be my 'things'...so a couple of lollipop sticks and some elastic bands might be more appropriate!

So shes going to break action mans legs and destroy you're mobiles hands free attachment.The cah

Taipan wrote

Smear ink on all the ear pieces of the office phones. Place drawing pins on the visitor's seats.Buy a soft porn book and leave it on someone's desk.Walk up to anyone who is on the phone and pull the phone away from their ear. They instinctively pull it back hard towards their ear. So let go of it and watch them whack themselves in the ear with it. Amuses the wee wee out of me that one.

they are all good but that last one, fecking quality i just lmfao @ that and nearly choked on me seasame seeds i am goin to have to try that Aaaaah, still chuckling now

mr tack wrote

So shes going to break action mans legs and destroy you're mobiles hands free attachment.The cah

Wyns hands free attachments comprise his ear and shoulder

Taipan wrote

Walk up to anyone who is on the phone and pull the phone away from their ear. They instinctively pull it back hard towards their ear. So let go of it and watch them whack themselves in the ear with it. Amuses the wee wee out of me that one.

Aaaaaaah still chuckling just Had to quote that again KR1Slapper Pleeeeeeeease go and do this to someone and come back an report it here purleeeeeeease i think this would make you roar with laughter cos just the idea has me in stitches

Wingnut wrote

Inhale some nitrous oxide

Good plan. Even better with good music and strange people having even stranger conversations around you.

Miss Mini Mofo wrote

Aaaaaaah still chuckling just Had to quote that again KR1Slapper Pleeeeeeeease go and do this to someone and come back an report it here purleeeeeeease i think this would make you roar with laughter cos just the idea has me in stitches

I too find this the very bestest suggestion so far! If I wasn't off sick I would go try this myself.I tend to put my laptop away, pretend I have an appointment to go on and head to a beach... 3-4 hours kitesurfing/landboarding works wonders for me everytime.

Miss Mini Mofo wrote

Aaaaaaah still chuckling just Had to quote that again KR1Slapper Pleeeeeeeease go and do this to someone and come back an report it here purleeeeeeease i think this would make you roar with laughter cos just the idea has me in stitches

It really works and leads to many heated arguments. I saw a fight started over it in a Uni print room once. I was so proud.

Miss Mini Mofo wrote

Aaaaaaah still chuckling just Had to quote that again KR1Slapper Pleeeeeeeease go and do this to someone and come back an report it here purleeeeeeease i think this would make you roar with laughter cos just the idea has me in stitches

I'm going to wait until an unsupecting runner comes along......

aaaah dear, i have to go outside an calm myself down cos everytime i read that i start to giggle really uncontrolably got tears an everyfin its like something your big brothers would do to you ooooh deary me i think i nearly wee'd

KR1Slapper wrote

I'm going to wait until an unsupecting runner comes along......

Recognise the futility of being attached to your emotions.See. That was easy......

Where are you (location) VD Lunch?

Wyn D'oh wrote

'Go work on the bikes', 'Devon', 'new shoes'...all while sat at your desk?! What they are trying to say, must then be: learn to achieve full corporeal astral projection in one easy step.I'm sure one of VDs resident New Age fuckwits will pop along to explain how any minute...

Oi was trying to give her something to look forward to and hence she would be happier.Next time I'll keep my opinions to my self

human wrote

Recognise the futility of being attached to your emotions.

You are French! I claim my soapy tenner!

Katana wrote

Where are you (location) VD Lunch?

I would love to, but preparing for a viewing at 3pm so can't escape sadly (am in W14)Would also love to come to Devon, but I think part of down in dumpness is not having spent a weekend at home just doing SFA for ages (and not going to for 3 weeks yet because of various commitments, so that takes priority. QWhen you going to Devon anyway? Is it hacks tour? Or your own personal tour?

Hedge Slammer wrote

a) Seroxat/Prozacb) Pull yourself together, womanc) Take up gardeningTry b then c, and a as a last resort.

don't bother with a. i've been on seroxat for years and i'm still a miserable bastard.

Similar to Taipans phone joke....Sneak up on someone, hold a big fat marker pen next to their face, then say their name - watch them turn to face you, and draw all over their own face

KR1Slapper wrote

Would also love to come to Devon, but I think part of down in dumpness is not having spent a weekend at home just doing SFA for ages (and not going to for 3 weeks yet because of various commitments, so that takes priority)

I know you said that you're really busy at the moment, but did you take any time off in the way of compassionate leave when your sister-in-law passed away, or does your employer only allow that for immediate family? I would be tempted to throw a sickie, or take just a day's holiday and use it to do whatever you want to do, whether that's having an all-day lie-in, going somewhere for the day on the train, reading a book you haven't had a chance to finish in ages, having fish and chips on Brighton pier...anything. Just forget about work for one day, forget about everything that sucks at the moment for one day. And enjoy today planning what you will do with your day off It's shit when what your body and mind really needs after something as traumatic as losing a loved one, is for you to take a time out and get your shit together. So I recommend exactly that. You might think that one day won't mean much, but it really will. And as for whichever man among you lot suggested a small dose of chocolate...HELLO...MCFLY???? A bag *(at least) of Thornton's finest is what is needed

KR1Slapper wrote

I would love to, but preparing for a viewing at 3pm so can't escape sadly (am in W14)Would also love to come to Devon, but I think part of down in dumpness is not having spent a weekend at home just doing SFA for ages (and not going to for 3 weeks yet because of various commitments, so that takes priority. QWhen you going to Devon anyway? Is it hacks tour? Or your own personal tour?

Hey I'm here all week.Devon tour but no hacks allowed.

KR1Slapper wrote

After the events of the last few weeks (my sis in law died), despite attending a fantastic family wedding at the end of last week, today I'm feeling really down in the dumps. Its the wrong time to not be motivated for work as I'm really busy, but I just want to curl up in a corner. Bikes not on the road at the mo, and work really busy, so fucking off somewhere to have a therapeutic blast is, sadly, not an option. Any good ideas for how I can cheer myself up and stop being a grumpy useless cow whilst sitting here at my desk?

Okay, this is just to cheer you up...thought you might need a giggle...I was shocked to find it's existence on you tube, but it was going to get found sooner or later... www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsalH8lFafU Failing that, take off your smelly socks and put them at the back of the desk drawer of the person you least like in the office

Fallen Angel wrote

Okay, this is just to cheer you up...thought you might need a giggle...I was shocked to find it's existence on you tube, but it was going to get found sooner or later... www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsalH8lFafU Failing that, take off your smelly socks and put them at the back of the desk drawer of the person you least like in the office

I dont know about slappers day but its made mine.

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