Two nuns painting a room

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Two nuns painting a room

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.

"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug; deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

"Nice tits," says the man. "Where do you want these blinds?"

Cant believe that one is still running, ps i really am a blind man, curtain fitter  

Some say "The old ones are the best" others tell the truth......................

Ha ha very good even though its old

  Two nuns on a train, a man gets on at the station when it stops. Off they go again and a bit further down the line he exposses himself in front of them. The first nun had a heart attack and the second a STROKE!!!!!!!  Another old one.  

As said by the Vicar of Dibley to Alice.

ah I miss the vicar of dibley

ah I miss the vicar of dibley

Cant feel that is still running, ps i must say i am a blind man, curtain fitter

Two nuns driving along. Devil leaps onto the bonnet. One nun to the other "Show him your cross". The other leans out of the window an shouts "Get off the effing bonnet!"

Two nuns riding their bikes back to the convent across a cobbled courtyard. One says to the other I've never came this way before! The other one replied neither have I it must be all the cobbles! 

Dyslexic kid says

"Mum, can I have a MacDonalds?"

Mum says "Certainly, if you can spell it you can have one"

dyslexic kid says ......

"F.... it, I'll have a KCF then "

2 nuns visit the local darts final & decide to sit on the front row,  during the final round one darts player hits a double 20, then another double 20,  his 3rd dart hits the board, bounces out & hits one of the nuns in the head  killing her,  the scorer shouts out    one nun dead & eighty !!

Two pregnant nuns walking down the street singing Benedictus!

What's the difference between a nun and a girl in the bath? The nun has hope in her soul,...................!!

Two nuns in a bath... One nun says to the other, "Where's the soap?". The other nun says, "Yes it does a bit, doesn't it!"

Two nuns out for a ride on bicycles, one says "we haven`t come this way before " The other replies " It must be the cobbles ".

Two nuns on the way into town take a shortcut down a quiet alley where they are set upon by a ner do well and sexually assaulted. When he'd had his wicked way, they straightened their habits and continued on their way. One turned to the other and asked, 'Raped twice in one day, what will we tell the mother superior?' 'What do you mean, 'twice'?' replied the second To which she said, 'Aren't we coming back the same way?'

Two nuns walking home at night when a vampire jumps out in front of them: First nun - "What shall we do? Second nun - "Show him your cross!" First nun - "Get out the fucking way you fangy toothed bastard"

Nothing to do with Nuns
Did you hear about the Cannibal ?
Apparently he dumped his girlfriend

When the queen had a baby they fired a twenty one gun salute but when a nun has a baby they end up firing a dirty old cannon. 

Two nuns take a shortcut back to the convent when a gang jump out and rape them. Afterwards the first nun says  "We shall have to tell Mother Superior that we got raped twice in one day". "What do you mean twice ?"  says the second nun. "Well we're coming back this way aren't we?" says the first.

A man sitting at a bar is approached by the bartender's pet monkey. Amused the man offers the monkey a peanut from the snacks tray. The monkey takes the peanut and studies it closely, then sticks it up his ass. Then the monkey removes the peanut from its ass and eats it. The man at the bar thought that odd and offered the monkey a piece of popcorn. The monkey again looks at the gift then sticks it in his ass before eating it. The confused man now ask the bartender, "why does your monkey friend here stick things up its arse before eating them?" The bartender replies, "ever since the snooker ball incident, he likes to check everything for fit".  

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