Meeter and Greeter

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Meeter and Greeter

After landing my new job as a B & Q ???Greeter - a good find for many retirees. I lasted less than a day . About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting Bognor babe walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to B & Q." I then said,"Nice children you have there. Are they twins?" The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "No, they ain't effin twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7, why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just effin stupid?" I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone shagged you twice... Have a good day and thank you for shopping at B & Q." My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

The lead actor in the local production of Aladdin was anally raped, by the gay genie on stage last night, to be fair the audience tried to warn him.

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

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