Top 10 tips if you get pulled over

New to biking? Here's a head start with Visordown's guide to getting off the hook

Engine off, helmet off, get off

GETTING PULLED by the law isn't a great experience for anyone. No one likes it. But if you follow our Top 10 tips you may just walk away with nothing more than a ticking off.

Visordown spoke with a couple of the UK's traffic cops about the dos and don'ts if you get pulled over. Have a read. One day it may just save you a lot of hassle.

1. Attitude: The three 'offs'

Sat on your bike with the engine running and your (black) visor firmly shut is no way to greet a traffic cop that's just pulled you over. Switch off the bike, dismount, take off your helmet and look humble - even if you don't think you've done anything wrong.

Your bike

Not a good way to start negotiations

2. Your bike

An illegal number plate, an ear-splitting exhaust, balding tyres and no tax aren't the best way to help smooth negotations get under way. Keeping your bike legal, roadworthy and clean shows you have some respect for the law. A minor traffic infringement could be overlooked if the rider's bike is legal but no insurance and a fag-packet number plate won't help matters one bit.

Location

Impressed? The cops won't be

3. Location

If you're going to go out for a spirited ride then choose location wisely. If you're caught doing a few miles over the speed limit on an open A-road, with good visibilty it'll probably result in just a ticking off under the right circumstances. But if you're stopped hoiking stand-up wheelies past a school at home time then, to put it bluntly, you're f@cked.

Don't argue

"Yes but, yes but, yes but ..."

4. Don't argue

Avoid arguments. Most traffic cops are simply doing their jobs, so usually you'll have been pulled over for a particular reason, so look humble, take the bollocking and you may just get away with it. Backchat, sarcasm and a never-ending stream of "yes, buts" will get you nowhere. If you disagree then do it politely.

Bribery

Cash won't talk in this case

5. Bribery

It may have happened in the 1970s, but a £50 note left in between your folded-up driving licence, accompanied by a cheeky wink won't get you anywhere other than a custody cell. Don't do it.

Honesty

No one likes a liar

6. Be honest

Cops hate liars, so if you know you were doing 40mph in a 30 then admit it. "I've no idea why you stopped me, mate," are not words any traffic cop likes to hear, especially the word 'mate'. Be honest, admit you're in the wrong and you may just get away with it. Trust us on this one, it works.

Clothing

Dress to impress

7. Clothing

Torn jeans, a black visor, trainers, no gloves and a T-shirt won't impress anyone, least of all a traffic cop if you get pulled. Sensible clothing means you have some sense of self-worth and therefore respect the consequences of coming off your bike. Riding a GSX-R1000 dressed like someone out of the latest rap video generally means you haven't much of a clue about anything.

Be apologetic

"OK, OK! Sorry!"

8. Be apologetic

An apology goes a long way in many coppers' eyes, but don't grovel. Remain calm, humble avoid challenging eye-contact and you're already easing the situation. Take the bollocking, be sorry and hope.

Leave the scene quitely

Toys out the pram stuff will get you re-nicked

9. Slip away quietly

If you're lucky and you've followed some of the previous tips then you may find yourself riding away with a flea in your ear and your licence intact. If not, then accept the punishment and move on. But either way leave the scene quietly. Two-fingered salutes in the style of a wheelie, drag-start departure or peppering the officer's car with stones spat up by a smoking rear tyre (yes, it's happened) are all sure fire ways of getting yourself re-nicked.

Doing a runner

See this? Hope you like porridge

10. Don't do a runner

AND FINALLY ... Make sure you pull over. 'Doing a runner' - as it's affectionately known - was relatively easy a few years ago, if you were on the right machine on roads you know well. Nowadays, 'failing to stop' will usually result in a 'Blues Brothers' high-speed chase by highly-skilled drivers in seriously fast specially-equipped pursuit cars. If things escalate include 'helicopter' and 'officers from three other counties' into the previous sentence. Expect a state holiday at one of Her Majesty's leisure camps, probably sharing a 'room' with someone called Big Butch McDick.

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