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Talk your way out of a Nicking

Be dignified, be calm, be honest and be free

It’s all in the delivery. You were speeding, you should have seen him coming, you’re in the wrong and everyone knows it. The next 30 seconds are key: how you come across is going to dictate whether you walk away with points in your pocket or not. If you’re on a stock bike, wearing all the right gear and you’re over the age of 35, you’re already halfway there. He’ll say: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

Never say, “I have no idea”. This marks you out as dim. Do you seriously think if you deny all knowledge of everything the cop will just say, “Oh, okay, my mistake. Off you go.” It doesn’t work like that. Be honest. Say, “Because I was speeding”. When he asks you what speed you were doing, round it down 5mph but don’t be daft – he already has a bloody good idea of your velocity.

Remember that traffic cops love bikes and going fast themselves. If you were riding well but way too quickly or you were splitting lanes aggressively, an admission of your guilt coupled with a wise head will go a long way. If, on the other hand, you’re on a 10 year-old Kawasaki ZX-7R with a tiny plate, an ear-shattering exhaust and you’re wearing trainers and a stolen Arai, well you’re screwed already.

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