"SCOTLAND? WE MUST be mad!" I squeaked. France is nearer and at least has the advantage of a slightly more comprehensible parlance.
Also, they will currently be enjoying an agreeable summer climate while the Scots will be tobogganing to work. "But it'll be great," chimed Whit. "Where else can you go mid-summer and be eaten alive while freezing to death?"
Oh, what the hell. The last time I headed north was to Knockhill to salute the end of Mr Mackenzie's race career, and that was by car. The fun I had blasting down the A77 from Glasgow to Stranraer is still fresh in my mind but the shameful truth is I've never ridden a motorcycle on Scottish soil. So despite a gloomy weather forecast and the absence of tour guide and translator Mackenzie, I was secretly rather enthusiastic to get the show on the road. Armed with lensman Oli T (photography and Harry Potter train trivia) and Army John (trouble-shooting, measured violence and security for public school boy Oli), our weekend warrior team was semi-fit and preparing for action.
The tools for the job include an interesting mix of touring and sport touring bikes, two- and four-cylinder, chain and shaft-drive. The Moto Guzzi Norge makes selection because it's new and looks as though it has potential. Yamaha's FJR1300 is here because of its turbine-like power plant and interesting technical party trick. The smaller yet spicier contestants are in the form of an ageing but recently modified Honda VFR that's entering its third decade of service, and the somewhat over-looked Ducati ST3s. It may seem obvious from the outset which will provide the most comfort or sporting ability, but what about the combination of the two disciplines over varying roads with riders of different ages (John provides the youth vote now Whitham is joining the 40-and-above club) and backgrounds? I reckon we'll cover close to 1500 miles over three days - plenty to weed out any pretenders masquerading as the real thing.
Strolling around the assembled machinery with notepad in hand, I'm intrigued by the unfamiliar Norge 1200.
It looks attractive from all angles, and is nicely finished too. Having not ridden any of the latest models I'll remain slightly sceptical for now, particularly as previous Guzzis have provided the least fulfilling experiences of my entire testing history.
The Yamaha is clearly designed with huge distances in mind and it's no lightweight with the biggest engine, seat and fairing of this bunch. The key point of interest here is not in its ability to cover distances but in the way it changes gear. Curiously, Yamaha have seen fit to develop a semi-automatic shift system that, according to their website, "reduces hassle and fatigue." Operating the
manual clutch on a modern Japanese motorcycle has never struck me as an inconvenience, rather more as part of the pleasure of riding, whatever the scenario. I'm sure the boys at Yamaha will have completed enough research to identify a target consumer for such a device, but the four of us are still scratching our heads. Aside from the odd appearance of a big bike without a clutch lever, and the fact that I've yet to fully grasp the point of it, I can't wait to see how it performs.
The venerable Honda still looks sharp in its four-year-old clothing and retains the confident aura that only 20 years of development and huge success can bring. It's back in the limelight after claimed improvements to the two-stage V-TEC valve operation which, in its original guise, was an ever-present irritation. We are now promised a smoother transition as the system steps from two- to four-valve performance, rather than the constant stuttering at just under 7000rpm as it switched backwards and forwards - at the exact revs you find yourself using to tour sportily. It's taken an age for Honda to make the modification so there can be no excuses for getting it wrong.
Our less obvious travelling companion is perhaps the Ducati ST3s. A direct competitor to the Honda in terms of power and price, though presented with a two-cylinder handicap and an extra 200cc of engine. Less obvious, as Ducati's touring offerings have never really impacted on the UK radar due perhaps to our love affair with the VFR and our fascination with the more harder edged, attitudinal offerings from Bologna. The ST3s looks minimalist and purposeful, skinny and nimble. Multi-adjustable …hlins at the rear and 43mm USD Showa forks expose the sporting pedigree, but sophistication will be appreciated more than a racetrack heritage for this weekend caper.
My cunning plan was to start our trip on what appears to be the most sporty and work my way through the pack, arriving at Fort William on the most comfortable. The return journey would be the same, but this time commencing the run by enjoying the famous twisty Scottish Tarmac on the more appropriate
machinery, and completing it in the same fashion on one of the rolling sofas.
The Honda was coincidentally the only vacant seat - maybe the others knew something I didn't - so we pointed north and headed towards the M1. It has been a while since I last rode the V4 and I'm instantly reminded of what made this bike such a winner. It immediately feels right and it always feel familiar, even to those who experience it for the first time. The riding position is natural, relaxed and perfectly suited to a sedate cruise or a blast round Brands Hatch. Though not razor sharp, the steering is quick enough and the overall feel is that of a well-balanced and planted machine. A contributory factor will be its weight. At around 250 kilos with a full fuel tank, the VFR won't suffer the occasional twitch and flutter of a pedigree race tool if the going gets a little rough. It is always composed and provides a cosy type of performance that is satisfying, if not electrifying.
Whatever your height a good set of earplugs are necessary, as the windblast will get you. The non-adjustable screen is angled way too low for peaceful motorway cruising, and too low to duck down behind - a bubble screen is the answer, but should be fitted as standard. That aside, most of us could spend a whole day in the saddle without complaint. We were on the M6 before I remembered the V-TEC, which means that Honda's claims of improvement are spot on. The switch to four valves now chimes in smoothly at a slightly lower 6600rpm (and reverts to two valves at an undetectable 6100rpm), though there is still a change in the engine note and a degree more urgency to its acceleration. It seems that the V-TEC system has finally come good, and life at cruising speeds is now interference free.
Hopping on to the ST3s at the first fuel stop provided a couple of surprises. Ducati have fitted a trip computer and adjustable headlights to this ABS model. Very thoughtful. It even has a handle to assist effortless centre stand operation, which is rather fortunate as by way of punishment the sidestand is probably the most useless I have come across since the 851.
You'll need to park very carefully as the ST3s has a short stand that means it settles at a dangerous angle, and will topple over with the slightest provocation. The riding position is slightly more relaxed and roomy than the Honda and the overall feel is generally slightly softer. We have a thick, comfortable seat and mirrors that actually work, though not as well as the Honda's. Vibration is acceptable and wind blast slightly less intrusive than the VFR, which makes this a very agreeable place to be sitting. The narrow panniers can only just swallow a full-face helmet but have no negative impact on stability at higher speeds, and have the further advantage of being able to filter through traffic without fear. I feel less inclined to change down in order to overtake, though in terms of outright power it feels quite similar to the VFR. The lower revving V-twin becomes a pleasant burbling companion as the miles clock up and I'm starting to wonder why I haven't nabbed one more often. Despite a regular false neutral between fifth and sixth, the Ducati is already impressing and we haven't yet reached its preferred habitat.
Moto Guzzi have launched the Norge at the ripe old age of 85, and it looks as though they've put a lot of development time into it. My main concern is whether the air-cooled 1151cc V-twin with a claimed 95bhp will be enough to cart around a full-size tourer weighing in at a wet 275 kilos. The first impression is one of a positive and accurate gear change - not the smoothest, but a great improvement over the previous generation, and perfectly acceptable in this company. At cruising speeds with the manually adjustable screen at its highest, the wind still clips the top of my head, though I can just avoid it by stooping. The engine is slightly harsh when revving but manages respectable overtaking without fussy footwork or a heavy right hand. However, a fully laden three-piece set of luggage and passenger will be asking a lot of what is a pleasant but slightly asthmatic engine, which begins to wheeze at around 7000rpm. Power aside, the motor does actually sound rather good, particularly on the overrun as it pops and bangs enthusiastically.
Relaxing and comfortable, the Norge is clearly in the big league when it comes to covering ground. Its funky quadruple polyellptical headlights are ideal for clearing a path through traffic. Less impressive are oddly bar-mounted mirrors that look out of place and become more useless with speed, rendering themselves ineffective by 80mph, or the handlebar that managed to loosen itself virtually clean off the bike. That aside, I watch England become Scotland with absolutely no desire to remove myself from the Norge.
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