A MAN makes a hole in the seat of a scooter before mounting and 'humping' it in CCTV footage captured in Thailand, according to that bastion of serious journalism the Daily Star.
The man first spent two minutes circling the scooter before moving in for the sex act at Burapaha University in Chonburi province last week, according to the report, which adds that he fled after 'apparently being disturbed minutes later'.
Looks like he was already disturbed to us.
Student Piyarat Manomaihataitip told a reporter the man been recorded doing the same thing at least once before, last month.
He said: "He wants to make love to the motorbikes. I think he wants everybody to know exactly he does."
We're not sure exactly what he is doing but it doesn't seem to last long. Must be a two-stroke.
Just don't try it at home. Or not at home.
Don't try it anywhere.