Ride Across Dangerous Countries and Survive

When the call of adventure draws you somewhere you shouldn’t go, a war-torn Arab state perhaps, don’t worry. It’s never as bad as you think

Posted: 21 April 2010
by John Cantlie

Regardless of where you are, places are never as dangerous as people will tell you they are. Just because the police carry AK-47s and there was a bombing once doesn’t necessarily mean you’re about to be beheaded on video with a rusty spoon. Outside Europe guns are everywhere and while you might be somewhere hot and dusty where the indigenous people don’t wear jeans, that’s not to say it’s any more hazardous than, say, Toxteth.

Approach border crossings with an open mind and accept that it will take all day. African countries are the worst. Only consider greasing your documents with a small bribe if you know your shit’s not in order. Russians respond well to money but most border guards will just ask for more cash and then report you to their boss. Who will want more. Always travel with the original documents and carry an international driving licence (£11 from the Post Office) as these look like old-fashioned travel documents, which officIals like.

Across large swathes of the middle of the planet (Middle East, anything ending in -stan) it’s entirely commonplace to have military checkpoints every 40 miles or so. These are manned by bored soldiers and you’re the most interesting thing they’ve seen all week. Roll into each one with a huge grin and shouts of “inshallah” and they’ll love you for it. In Mexico the same roadblocks control the flow of cocaine from Columbia into the USA. Ask to take their picture and they’ll strike a pose with their AR15s. Ironically, you can buy 90% pure 10g bags of coke from roadside watermelon vendors three miles up the road for $20.

Don’t use a tent if you’re not feeling comfortable about security. Local hotels are cheap and do afford you some basic safekeeping. Text a mate at home and make a plan, asking them to call Interpol if they haven’t heard from you by a specified time.

Most of the world eats chicken, rice and vegetables and it’s always delicious. Getting the shits is just life. Chat at petrol stations and bone up on local knowledge, taking warnings with a pinch of salt.

Keep packs of Marlboro Lights on you for emergencies. Phillip Morris saved my skin in Basra in 2003 when, cornered in a hangar of Silkworm missiles by a bunch of angry-looking Fedayeen I thought fast, tore open a 20-carton and threw them into the air, making my escape as the Iraqis dropped their weapons and lunged for the smokes.



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Just a couple of comments about crossing the Middle East.

UAE - Driving is just like back in Europe with same laws, speed cameras everywhere but all the poilice and locals speak English. Fuel is cheap but fuel stations get rarer the further out on the desert and mountains. The locals are all very friendly and helpfulmost are petrol heads anyway. Visa is easy as you can get a 45 day visitor visa on arrival if you have a UK passport. Their weekend is on Friday and Saturday but the religious side of life is very low key compared to the other countries. Be preapred to empty your wallet here though.

Oman - Very similar to UAE as above, but less commercialised and quieter, well worth a visit.

Yemen - DO NOT RIDE OR DRIVE HERE!! I was shot at twice and missed 2 IED by minutes they drive on every side of the road. After 4:00PM they are all chewing QAT so totaly high and no idea where they are or what they are doing. The police are useless and corrupt, and you will be automaticaly quilty of any offence. Fuel is cheap but be careful where you sleep otherwise you might not wake up!!! Also Visa are a nightmare so be very carefull. There is still a war going on with many kidnappings and killing going on, it is also very corrupt and lawless try to avoid this country.

Saudi Arabia - Standard of driving is better than Yemen but they are still out to kill you. They love to find a foreigner and have an accident with you so that they make it your fault and to repair there allready damaged vehicle. Also beware of Blood Money this is whe if you cause an accident which results in a death you have to pay the famalie compensation which can be in the millions of $. Plus they still have the death penalty(beheading) for major crimes. Weomen have no say in anything and are treated like slaves. This is most strict muslim country so be very careful, no drinking, no drugs, no fun. The only good thing is cheap petrol. Also Visa are a nightmare so be very carefull.

Bahrain - Very westernised just like the UAE but still a muslim country so be careful of thier laws. Its a bit like being in Spain with all the expensive hotels, shopping malls and coastline beaches. Drinking is only allowed in authorised hotels. Be careful on Thursday and Friday as this is thier weekend and all the Saudi,s come over to get pissed and laid, so all hotels with bars are booked out. Visa can be a problem so check first, there are still may protests going on so watch the news.

Jorden.- Nice country reminds of the UK many years ago, the people are nice and helpful, even seen police motorcyclists which is rare. Fuel is cheap with lots of clean well fitted out hotels, you can drink. Roads are in good condition and well signposted. Well worth a visit.

Note. Where ever you drive / Ride in the Middle East do take your own GPS with you with the most to date maps on it as the signs can be missing, wrong or not translated plus some of the distances between junctions can be huge so you do not want to make too many mistakes. Take plenty of water and a mobile phone that works in that country in case you breakdown or need the police. Make plenty of copies of all your bike and personnal documents and carry a few dollers to easing your passage!!!

Do your research, respect their laws and try not to draw attention to yourself either when driving or even on the streets try to be in a group and let poeple know where you are going and when you expect to return or arrive.

Posted: 15/01/2013 at 13:21

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