Dodgy Geezer, RiceBurner and Black Rat are sat in a bar...

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17/08/2001 at 09:55
It's sweltering outside as they sit in air-conditioned comfort, each drinking an ice-cold pint of Stella. BR wipes the condensation from his glass as he raises it to his lips.

Nigella, Dervla and Sophie laugh excitedly as the fellas share another joke and the other VDers drinking in the bar look over, eyeing the group with not a little jealousy.

Nigella stands up, smoothing her short skirt down her thighs. RB notices for the first time the exquisite few inches of black nylon encasing her legs as they meet the top of her knee-length black Fuck-Me boots.

"Excuse me, sweetheart", she says, eyeing DG lasciviously - "Just going to the ladies".

Dervla and Sophie both stand to join her.

Just then, the door opens and Silent Memory arrives...


Someone Else's Life: My Award-Winning Weblog

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

VDCR 1

(L) TIT 110B

(R) TIT110D

www.black-rat.net
17/08/2001 at 10:02
....he stands by the door he just opened and holds it open so the ladies can walk through to the toilet.

The 3 lads wonder where SM had got to and now realised he was 'doing his hair' all this time.

SM walks up to the bar with a ruck sack that appears to be full of 'quote' tags and smilies.

He places the ruck sack on the floor and scrambles onto it, gaining just enough height to peer over the bar and order a Guinness...



17/08/2001 at 10:06
... only a half, mind...

VDTD1Fas / BN#250 / TIT#3C / VDA#250 / TFG#4 / TOFFS3 / SSSD (Poof) # 2 / HBA#1 / VDFF#5 / AC#1200/2
17/08/2001 at 10:17
STOPPIT - I'm trying to daydream here!!

Great Prophet of Veedism.
non quod sed quomodo
"BBQ fluid is a sweaty one night stand compared to the long term relationship of a properly burning wood fire."
Cool in a fuddy-duddy old fart kinda way - Wingnut
17/08/2001 at 10:19
Admin wrote

....he stands by the door he just opened and holds it open so the ladies can walk through to the toilet.




.... which is currently occupied by Tufty and Carol Smilie, going "at it" hammer and tongs ......
17/08/2001 at 10:29
... Animal, who'd been sitting at the bar minding his own business, turns round to the lads and says "right then, who's up for a ride"

The guys all say their goodbyes to their lovely ladies, and go outside for a spin.

Fortune was shining on the VDers this day, as Ben had just won sponsership from his world-renowned site with Ducati, who had been kind enough to give each of the VD regulars a 748SPS.



One by one, the boys fire their bikes up, marvelling at the dulcid tones of the termis...

The girls stand by the bar entrance (except carol who is having problems standing ) in anticipation of the boys return

It was only 20 miles down the road to Laguna Seca, which was recently purchased by Visordown (inc) ...

VDTD1Fas / BN#250 / TIT#3C / VDA#250 / TFG#4 / TOFFS3 / SSSD (Poof) # 2 / HBA#1 / VDFF#5 / AC#1200/2
17/08/2001 at 10:57
Silent Memory stands at the door and waves folornly at the departing Vders - his SV, despite being blue and therefore the fastest SV in the range just can't compete with the Dukes.

Arriving at Laguna Seca, the lads take to the track. BR stuffs a Fireplace on the first corner, outbraking him by a significant degree, much to the delight of Dervla and the girls who have followed on to watch their heroes.

Animal, RB and DG take the bait, and follow BR's line as Bayliss, Corser and Edwards feck it up big style. The VD boys on their 748s easily outclass the WSB riders, lapping in 59 seconds each to rapturous cheering from the crowd.

Crossing the line together in a display of VD unity, they race down the pit lane four abreast, taking out Carl Fogarty who is being interviewed by Suzi. Deftly, Animal hoists her aloft with one arm and she straddles him for the ride back to the bar.

Foggy tumbles flat on his face, stemming the stream on utter shite emanating from his gob instantly. The crowd go wild. Screeching to a halt outside the Ducati garage, the boys swap their 748s for race tuned 996s and are joined by Neil Hodgson as, en masse, they leave the track and race back to the comfort of the air conditioned bar.

Unfortunately, in their absence, the bar has been taken over by the somewhat dishevelled passnegers of a recently crashed coach. judging by their apearance, the coach must have taken something of a tumble, perhaps going over a cliff. none of the passnegers however has any serious injuries.

SM somehow managed to escape and flags the returnng VDers down. The rest of the VD crowd are stuck inside the bar being held hostage. Blondie and Tazzie are in a panic as the Afterhock is seconds away from running out.

Vanessa Feltz appears at a window as the boys gather together for an 'O' group to decide the best way forward.

Something must be done. But what?...


Someone Else's Life: My Award-Winning Weblog

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

VDCR 1

(L) TIT 110B

(R) TIT110D

www.black-rat.net
17/08/2001 at 11:00
RB cups his hands around his mouth and shouts into the pub..


"Come out quietly and reboard the coach or we send in CHAOS!"

Great Prophet of Veedism.
non quod sed quomodo
"BBQ fluid is a sweaty one night stand compared to the long term relationship of a properly burning wood fire."
Cool in a fuddy-duddy old fart kinda way - Wingnut
17/08/2001 at 11:05
...The bar suddenly goes quiet. Obviously everyone had heard of chaos, and were considering their (limited) options...


As a show of faith, they decide to let Blondie and Tazzie out... the girls wander out nonchalantly, with two bottles of aftershock in each hand.


Meanwhile, Silent Memory has passed out after his 1/2 pint, and is being revived by Angelica...

VDTD1Fas / BN#250 / TIT#3C / VDA#250 / TFG#4 / TOFFS3 / SSSD (Poof) # 2 / HBA#1 / VDFF#5 / AC#1200/2
17/08/2001 at 11:11
Blondie and Tazzie only get half a mile down the road beofre the Aftershock suplly runs out so they amble back via the kebab shop and flag down the passing mille with magic wand on it who is smoking a rather large joint. Blondie hops on the tank and tazzie on the pillion seat and they ride off to the nearest bar to stock up on supplies.

Meanwhile the boys...

 

http://www.printroom.com/album_thumb2/20010618214339843015.JPG

http://www.printroom.com/album_thumb5/20020912162710973313.JPG


Wuss#69 -(Surrey) - VDA#69 - Hon.mem 'Ard and fast #69 - IANAN #69 -SSC2#69 - Biatch#69 - WTFIAT#69 - VDMT#69 - SSSD#69
You only live once, but if you work it right... once is enough.

17/08/2001 at 11:18
<SNIP>

(Just to keep the story going, you understand )

VDTD1Fas / BN#250 / TIT#3C / VDA#250 / TFG#4 / TOFFS3 / SSSD (Poof) # 2 / HBA#1 / VDFF#5 / AC#1200/2
17/08/2001 at 11:22
Meanwhile, the boys look at a brake calliper that's been left on the floor outside the bar.

"Looks like the rear brake off a Mille" says RB, his encyclopaedic knowledge of bikes showing through. "D'ya think Wanda'll need it?"

Everyone else erupts into hysterical laughter, never before have the words Mille, brake and Wanda been used in the same week, let alone the same sentence.

Wanda sparks up the Menthol Monster protruding from her lid, takes a couple of heavy tokes and accelerates towards the corner.........

17/08/2001 at 11:33
...Upon reaching the corner, a 90 degree right-hander, wanda stamps on the gear lever and the mille lets out an evocative sound as the engine revs struggle to catch up...

The boys look on in awe as the back of the Mille slides out in true style as the mille drops into the corner. Wanda nonchalantly (sp?)slides off the side of the bike, scraping her titanium knee and elbow sliders along the deck, sending showers of sparks into the air...

VDTD1Fas / BN#250 / TIT#3C / VDA#250 / TFG#4 / TOFFS3 / SSSD (Poof) # 2 / HBA#1 / VDFF#5 / AC#1200/2
17/08/2001 at 11:33
Luckily Bwana's in town, having just tranquillised an elephant at the local zoo. He's got a spare dart and, aiming carefully, hits Vanessa right in the arse. Seconds later, there's a tremendous crash as she falls to the floor. All the old folk in the coach party run out screaming about doodlebugs and the Blitz. All that remains behind are a bunch of moustachioed young men in muscle t-shirts. They're cheering on some bloke in a cowboy outfit who's stripping on stage. His crash-damaged R1 is parked outside. Oddly the bike is vertical, despite the fact that the sidestand is up.

Things are getting desperate at the bar. The bitter's off because all the young men are drinking fizzy lager and alcopops. Frank^'s muttering dark imprecations about €œthose goddam faggots€ in the bar and goes home to get his Uzi sub-machine gun which fires Semtex-tipped bullets. Meanwhile the VD girls have hit on a cunning plan. They rush next door to Janet Reger. Quickly changing out of their sensible white knickers they get all tarted up and stage a counter-striptease on the bar. Jif kindly lends them his truncheon and handcuffs. It very nearly backfires as some of the men seem to take an interest in what they're doing. Thankfully they only want to know what material the girls' outfits are made from.

Tiring of the cowboy's limp antics, the boys are on the point of leaving when an absolute minger of a bird joins him on stage. The VDers watch in horrified fascination as the boys projectile-vomit uncontrollably, all over the pair on stage.
17/08/2001 at 11:37
Arse Bandit has arrived, but is used to such welcomes so continues her business unruffled...

Its no good looking for the needle if you have already lost the thread.
17/08/2001 at 12:02
As does Lady Godiva, but apologises just in case.

Ringadingding
17/08/2001 at 13:01
Meanwhile, back in the bar, a Milan Anti-Tank weapon is produced from Frank^'s holdall which he absent-mindedly left on the floor when he left. Before anyone can protest, a mysterious VDer, masked only by the shadows cast by Death (who is drinking at the bar) shoulders the weapon and fires.

The wire guided missile explodes near the stage, rendering Mangy Dog and Dancing Boy unconscious although miraculously leaving the VD girls uninjured, save for some soot marks on their Janet Reger underwear. Fortunately, as they have slected black garments, this is not a major problem.

At that moment, Dervla, Nigella, Suzi and Sophie reappear and begin to dance an agonisingly sexy come-on to the now stunned VD males.

Consumed with lust, the intrepid ducati-riding heroes reach for their...



Someone Else's Life: My Award-Winning Weblog

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

VDCR 1

(L) TIT 110B

(R) TIT110D

www.black-rat.net
17/08/2001 at 13:07
Consumed with lust, the intrepid ducati-riding heroes reach for their...

....toolboxes (bloody Italian workmanship).

17/08/2001 at 13:09
.... reach for their mobile phones and ring their mums to ask if it'll be alright if they stay out a bit longer ....
17/08/2001 at 13:25
At that moment, the Scottish contingent of VD arrive, Bod, Lancsman, Zzrider, Reaper Snowdog, and their mini-mascot, ickle-chick

Hung like a horsefly



TIT#13C/C/C/A, TWO#A/650, VDA#650, SSC2/650, HMJ:mb
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