Laughed at by everybody; help.

In a market over there, I bought a pair of German bike pants, rather special. They inflate to keep you warm and also act like an airbag in an emergency, when they really blow up big time.

Problem is, mine inflate at any time, and I end up riding the bike like one of those stupid Harley people, with my feet sticking up and forward. It's so  hard to reach the controls.

Then when I get off I walk like John Wayne with two wooden legs or somebody who has crapped his pants. I know people laugh at me.

The pants are out of warranty: what should I do? They cost £350 and I don't want to bin them. Anyone had this problem? Any advice? I thought about fitting a tyre valve to deflate them but don't really know about this solution as it might be unsafe.

Thanks

Why do I get the feeling you aren't going to many helpful replies?

You tell me. And it should be "too", not "to". I think you're someone who trolled here recently and are back under another name - again. Get a life, Nonny.

And yu stil ca'n't spel.

Sarge Hugh ,my ghast is flabbered ,for one with such a command of the Queens spoke,but alas you managed to pay with pounds sterling and not euros or sheckels or doiting marks hope you had a good exchange rate,is it perchance that you are so full of hot air that your pants self inflatulate ,? Another method of deflating yer ladderhosen would be to ride flat out into a biki-buki bush you will find these on the edge of the okavango delta .Ihope this has been of some help to you. 

Guten tag, lavvy man

Thanks for your good advice. You are a real biker, stopping to help another, unlike that Hey Nonny false name joker. He rides a Vespa gay chariot anyway.

Yes I was full of hot air when they inflated - you are spot on. As for flatulence, I'm not sure, but you can have a sniff and tell me. Danke.

Riding flat out into a wanka bush? Is this possible on my Royal Enfield Bullet?

Mwah.

No I don't speak the Queen's English for she can't be understood and needs subtitles. I am better than that of course as you say. Danke.

If you have a genuine Bullet this may be possible to achieve or should that be acheive ,can"t remember ,if you have one of the Indian made Bullet"s it is unlikely that it would stay the distance  as the patten"s were worn out long ago hence the timing side main bearing was packed with putty to ensure longevity might be a good idea to join a well respected recovery unit ,the punjabi alchoholics auto union is one you can trust .Dont forget spare putty for the trip home.

Not quite right Lav man - Nick Saunders rode round the world on one with no putty. 

What the f***'s "patten"s"? What language is that? Thanks. You can get help you know....

Hope this helps.

Sorry for delay in replying ,it "s my therapy day .

Yes, it's left you shocked with nothing to say.......again.

Just been watching BSB on ITV4 ,"awsome stuff",The best therapy !  

Only sorry got to go away for a couple of days and won"t get a chance to get  on the bike to turn some grass into mud. Will make up for it at the weekend .

What shocked me was to see Haga bin it , not at all like Nori .

Catalunia Sunday , not to be missed ,

I think your pants have blown up too, with all the hot air. Welcome, friend!

Without pictures there is nothing we can do to help you.

Can't read, eh? Well Grok, what's your IQ? Shoe size or room temperature?

I may not have word smarts but I like pictures. Do you need a hand taking some?