The sick joke thread.

141 to 160 of 799 messages
07/12/2005 at 20:53
the Vietnamese don't usually celebrate xmas, howevre this year they intend to and are going to start by hanging glitter

"Racing is life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting"
Quote - Steve McQueen
TWAT #43
08/12/2005 at 10:10
xmastree wrote
And the blind dinosaur is


Booooo, get out of here. That ain't a sick joke I want a refund

drinking is not the answer, but it may help you forget the question :burp:
08/12/2005 at 12:24
whats better than winning gold at the paralympics?

Not being a retard

If it aint broke.

Fix it till it is
14/12/2005 at 09:43
Gary Glitter comes home to find his girlfriend packing her bags
"What are you doing ?" says Gary
" I know what you are, you are paedophile" replies his girlfriend
"Oooooh" says Gary"that's a big word for a 6 year old"
15/12/2005 at 03:35
Billy comes back from Simons 10th birthday party, and his parents ask billy what simon got for his birthday. Billy says " a computer, a playstation 2, a remote controlled car, TV for his bedroom, a minimoto, paddling pool, snooker table, and and and !" Billys parents then ask billy "what do you want for your birthday billy?"

"Leukemia!" says billy!

#4 SKINT*69 SIN#2 VDVT3# Yume No Chikara! All In!
15/12/2005 at 13:35
A vicar walking up the road comes across a little girl sitting on a wall crying her little heart out.
"What's up?" Asks the vicar.
"I'ts my birthday today" replies the girl.
"Did you not get any presents?" asks the vicar.
"Loads, I got a new bike, a pair of roller skates, a pogo stick, a scooter and a pair of ballet shoes" says the girl, sobbing.
"So why are you so upset?" askes the vicar.
"Because I haven't got any legs" says the girl.

"Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba"
Hunter S. Thompson
18/12/2005 at 18:36
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and Adolf Hitler?

One is a hero to all Christians everywhere...

...and the other died almost 2000 years ago.
19/12/2005 at 02:18
drazyc wrote
whats better than winning gold at the paralympics?

Not being a retard

19/12/2005 at 12:26
Gary Glitter has just checked into the Betty Ford clinic....

Trying to cure his 12 year old crack addiction.
19/12/2005 at 12:41
21/12/2005 at 00:01
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred today when a small 2-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery, this afternoon in central Ireland.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

22/12/2005 at 14:44
What the difference between a jew and an apple pie?

Apple pies dont scream in the oven.

What do you find up an ethiopians arse?

23/12/2005 at 11:38
A Chinese man walks into a bar and on seeing the bar man is black shouts "Gimme
a jigger nigger". The black man tells him how that wasn`t a nice thing to say,
and how would he like the same treatment. The Chinese man explains he wouldn`t
give a shit, so the black man says okay, you get behind the bar, and we`ll try
it again. So the Chinese man gets behind the bar and the black guy goes outside.
After a few seconds the black man comes in and says, "Gimme a drink chink".
The Chinese man stares at him and says "Sorry, we don`t serve niggers in here".
23/12/2005 at 13:12
pugwash76 wrote
"Sorry, we don`t serve niggers in here".


23/12/2005 at 13:22
xmastree wrote

oooops, what he said

drinking is not the answer, but it may help you forget the question :burp:
23/12/2005 at 14:51
I hear Gary Glitter is playing the new doctor who.......

...he has two female assistants


Commuter-guided missile.............:smoke: :burnout:
ThunderCats CB500s free mp3 player EBAY bits
23/12/2005 at 15:08
ozbiker wrote

or the 2 scottish poofters?
Ben Doon and Phillip McCaverty

So, Ben Doon, Phill McCaverty and Jim where on a coach trip.
After a while Ben says "sorry deary, I really have to fart"
followed by a "ffffffshhh" noise.
Later still Phil says "sorry luvies, I really do have to fart"
followed by a "ssssssssh" noise.
An hour later still Jim says "Oh, I relly have to let one rip"
followed by a "thwrppppp" noise.
Ben Looks at Phil and say "He's a virgin!"

Where are you? Why are you here? Look at this

23/12/2005 at 15:51
Dustman on his rounds gets to a house and cant find the bin. Knocks on the door and waits, getting annoyed. Knocks again very loud and a Chinese man hurriedly appear out of breath.

€œWhere's your bin?€ says the dustman
€œI been in the shower€
€œNo! Where's your bin€ says the irritated dustman
€œI have been in the shower,€ repeats the Chinese man.
€œNo mate! Where's your wheelie bin?€
€œOK€ says the Chinese man, looking a little embarrassed €œ I really been having a wank€
24/12/2005 at 14:15
Some MJ (or GG, substitute the name of your local "alleged" kiddie-fiddler)

What do Michael Jackson and Dr. Spock have in common?
A: They both know how to rear a child.

Q: What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Little Boy Blew

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?
A: They both have small boys pants at half off!

Q: Why did Michael Jackson go to K Mart?
A: He heard they had small boys pants half off.

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

Q: Why does Michael Jackson want to move to Ohio?
A: He heard there's a Youngstown there.

Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson was taken to the Emergency Room?
A: He was choking on a small bone!

Q: Did you hear about the new McDonalds McJackson sandwich?
A: It's a 35 year old slab of meat between two 12 year old buns.

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?
A: The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.

Q: Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet?
A: Emily Dick in son

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!

Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There's a Big Wheel parked outside his house!

Q: How can you tell when Michael Jackson is giving a party?
A: By all the Big Wheels in his driveway.

Q: What's Michael's favorite snack?
A: Slim Jims.

Q: What's Michael's favorite fast food?
A: Big Boys.

Q: What's Michael's favorite dish?
A: Creamed shrimp.

Q: Why is Michael so tough?
A: He can lick any kid on the block.

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.

Q: Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of the Boy Scouts?
A: He was up to two packs a day.

Q: What's black and white and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson.

Q: Hear about the new Michael Jackson doll?
A: It comes in a little can.

Q: Have you seen the new Michael Jackson candy bar?
A: It's white chocolate with no nuts.... (but kids like it)

Q: What were Michael Jackson's baby's first words?
A: Which one's mommy?

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing".

Q: Why has Michael been appearing on children's shows lately?
A: He has a lot to plug.

Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have decided to
begin training racehorses together?
A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a racing jockey?
A: A jockey can mount three year olds legally.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.

In an effort to dissuade all this bad publicity, Michael Jackson has pledged a significant amount of his fortune to found a new university. It's going to be called, "Bring 'em Young

Commuter-guided missile.............:smoke: :burnout:
ThunderCats CB500s free mp3 player EBAY bits
24/12/2005 at 19:38
Callum best has just been left £20 million

all he has to do is return the empties
141 to 160 of 799 messages
Forum Jump