I was at the airport and a guy came up to me and asked, "Lost something mate?" I said: "Yes, my wife." He said, "Me too!" I asked, "What does she look like?" He replied, "Blonde, long tanned legs up to her neck, wearing a mini, no knickers, no bra, big tits and a see-through top. What's yours look like?" I said, "Who gives a fuck lets look for yours!"