I woke up this morning with a piece of dried fruit wedged between my arse cheeks....
I think I've been date raped.
that is sooo bad
I know but i love it!!!
surely you’ll have the police look into it?
They're probing as we speak!!!!
Have faith, they’ll sniff out the perpetrator.
Fuck me the old bill couldn't sniff out a dodgy areshole in a fecking packed gay bar!!!
You sure its not a fig-ment of your imagination???
They'll crack this case
as long as they don't bust my ass down at the station I don't care!