Dead donkey

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Dead donkey

The current bank crisis explained by an Irishman

A young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next he drove up and said: "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."

Paddy replied: "Well then just give me my money back."

The farmer said: "I can't do that, I've already spent it."

Paddy said: "OK then, just bring me the dead donkey."

The farmer asked: "What are you going to do with him?"

Paddy said: "I'm going to raffle him off"

The farmer said: "You can't raffle a dead donkey!"

Paddy said: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead"

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked: "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Paddy replied: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 each and made a profit of £898."

The farmer said: "Didn't anyone complain?"

Paddy said: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £2 back."

…Paddy now worse for the Royal Bank of Scotland.

Arnold and his wife Florrie were walking across Southsea Common one Sunday afternoon. In the bandstand the combo was playing a catchy sounding tune, and Florrie said, 'I wonder what the name of that tune is.'

Arnold noticed that there was a sign posted near the bandstand and said, 'It looks like they post the titles of the tunes they play. I'll go down and see.'

A while later Arnold returned and said to Florrie, 'It's one I don't know, it's called the Refrain from Spitting.'

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