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Talkback: BMW's latest promo video for the G310R

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Talkback: BMW's latest promo video for the G310R

I need to work on that elbows-out stance, then spazz left and right randomly on an empty road for extra edginess...

so the G310R is a skateboard? because they look more fun than the bike with the awkwardly placed rider.
Spins rear wheel on smooth concrete.ooo.

"People need cars to... er... go places. People don't need bikes so they feel more connected"

I hit stop. Any more of Beardy McWeirdTwat and his meaningless philo-meme-ing and I'd give up two wheels and take up weaving dream catchers out of lentils and pubic hair.

If you "love bikes", why would you buy a lardy, underpowered example?

Well, I guess we can see the market they're going for. I won't say that they "desperately" need new blood, because they're doing well enough leasing R1200GSes to geezers. And I remain unconvinced that Motorrad dealers (in the UK) will have any interest in dealing with yoof buyers. But on the general principle that more bikes and more bikers is a good thing, I wish them all the luck that they deserve.

"BMW Motorrad insists that no-one re-creates these activities"
Don't worry BMW; I won't, I won't...

Sick of this `lifestyle` shit. If it's a motorcycle. ride it like a motorcycle, and fucking TELL us about the motorcycle.

I have no interest in being preached the nuances of life experience by someone whose experience extends only as far as following fucking skateboards and unnecessarily carving through traffic in a dickwad stylee. While wearing trainers. `Professional` rider my arse... and get your hair cut you scabby minger. (I have now officially turned into my father).

If da Yoof wanna ride they is gonna do it on a `ped or scoot` innit, not some underpowered, overweight, under-specified, single-cylinder, post-learner bandwagon-jumper.

Here's the REAL deal, and for the benefit of potential customers everywhere I have removed the `corporate speak`

It's a single cylinder motorcycle that even shit for brains like YOU can afford.
About as exciting as watching sailing, but it's better than taking the bus.
You can put your boyfriend or girlfriend on the back, but they won't thank you for it - and they definitely won't fuck you after it...
It's a motorcycle, so your parents won't talk to you after you buy it, and they will NEVER help buy it.
Its a plodder for the brand conscious, but it's made in India so don't tell your friends it's `German...`

Let's just tell it like it is, shall we...

I imagine that any affordability is going to come from a PCP deal with a fat balloon payment at the end. Dude, don't worry about the future, just sign here and ride away today (terms and conditions apply)! Join the BMW Motorrad family - walk down these steps to the sound proofed basement, you'll never want or be able to leave.

It practically begs for a head to head against the Duke 390, and I can't see it fairing well either on paper or the road. Might be surprised though.

The big upside of outsourcing to India is that it gives them another opportunity to deal with their endemic problem with flaking engine paint on all their engines, whether they're put together by Loncin, Rotax or the Bavarians themselves.

anyone know what helmet he was wearing ?

You nailed it.....my sentiments exactly.
best
oldjohn1951

' You have the fear' what a great way to attract new riders? tossers, it can't even beat a skateboard downhill. Consider these two facts BMW advertising executives as you congratulate yourselves over lunch, any jobs going?? However if buying one gets one of those gorgeous girls to throw her arms around you and jump on the bike as shown - put me down for 3. I'll tell the old girl I'm downsizing, now where did I leave my flairs?

34HP isn't enough to make it a proposition for anyone except licence restricted newcomers.
A shame they've walked away from the 650 singles.

And it's under-powered for them, given that they'll have got their license on something like a 35kW/47hp CB500.

The modern 650 singles never sold well. The X models were a flop, but the G650GS sold a few until they hiked the price from £5K to £6K and the market just walked away overnight.

Which is why price will be critical for this bike, and they're being awfully coy about it.

> anyone know what helmet he was wearing ?

Looks like a Bell end.

I presume the 650 singles didn't sell because they were too heavy, too slow and not orange enough?

The X- models didn't sell even though they were lighter and more powerful than either the old or new F/G650GS. They had some build issues, but were generally well regarded by their (relatively few) owners as a well kept secret.

The lardier, wimpier G650GS initially sold better than the X bikes, presumably because of the mini-Ewan-and-Charley badge cachet - that's why I'm surprised that BMW didn't lead with a G310GS. Then they bumped the price up in 2013 and sales just flatlined. That's why I ended up buying a 1 year old F"650"GS (the more capable 800 twin) for a grand less than a new G650GS single. The G650GS been dropped in the UK this year.

https://www.howmanyleft.co.uk/vehicle/bmw_g_650_gs#!newreg

It'll be interesting to see if they've learned anything from that with the G310R. Hipster marketing is fine, but only if the market actually sees it. If BMW are chasing that mythical "bikes for non bikers" market again like they tried with (e.g.) the C1 and the F650CS "Scarver", then I imagine they'll have about as much success.

Interesting, the GS image thing makes sense.  I suppose I was alluding that the X models looked like a deliberate aping of KTMs, especially the "Moto" variant, which looks a bit like an early Duke to me.  I do like the idea of the other two, just can't find any! Is it a case that those who might have bought a bike like that would probably have gone with the established and exciting orange ones?  This prompted by the potential comparison of the G310R to the Duke 390. If so, have BMW learned from that, too?

LOL..the Scarver 650, what the hell were they thinking.

The "Scarver" wasn't a completely insane idea. Belt drive is ace, I wish more bikes would fit it, which would led to some competition for replacement belts. Under-seat tanks are a great idea and the "tank" storage was ahead of its time, although they half-arsed it compared to the NC700/750 (and the Aprilia Mana, lest we forget that).

Sure, the front end was truly hideous. I wonder if BMW deliberately designed it that way to NOT appeal to "real" bikers, under some bizarre assumption that it would therefore find a market among the bike-curious car drivers that they were targeting. Fail.

The G310R is a lot more conservative. It just looks like a bike, they're not making that mistake again. But the marketing looks like they are chasing after that casual fashionista market.

Given how badly it appears to stack up against the Duke 390, I wonder what else they can do though.

It's a nice little bike but nothing special and with the usual BMW over-pricing it'll fall flat on its face like the X bikes. Most BMW's have some kind of "unique" styling,that could just as easily have rolled out of any factory in Japan,or China come to that.
The 650 single was flawed,mate of mine bought one new when they were first "re-introduced".It dumped all of ots oil onto Asda's car park one day while he was shopping after a couple of weeks.The dealer took it back and when he called to check progress on "The F650 in for warranty work" he was asked "which one,we've got 6 of them in".
I don't know about the F but some of the X bikes had an amusing little glitch that had the gear selection mechanism detaching itself from the rest of the bike,they also rusted very quickly.There used to be a thread on an American forum detailing one buyer's tale of woe that eventually went into several pages of stuff that really shouldn't have happened punctuated with comments like,"yeah mine did that as well."
Sadly these days you're paying for a tank badge when you buy a BMW,not quality,if you want that buy one from the R1100 era and backwards.

Indeed, the G (reintroduced F) had that endemic oil tank leak. Presumably the retail replacement costs - multiple times in some cases until they got lucky and fitted a good 'un - ate any wholesale savings of outsourcing the engine to Loncin.

I'd assume that BMW fell for the classic bait-and-switch, where Loncin turned out some high quality samples then cheaped out when it went into production.

I expect that their latest Indian partners have assured BMW that they would never do anything so unscrupulous though. Just certain of it. [whistles nonchalantly]

The X bikes are BMWs best.
The most powerful big single engine they ever made in the lightest big single bike they ever made.
They didn't sell because they were too expensive. Being light costs money, where other bikes make do with steel the X bikes have alloy. Everything about them is pared down to the bone, if it's not needed to go or stop it isn't fitted.

If we're talking orange, an X bike weighs only 2KG more than a Duke 390 but makes 15HP more.
X bikes are lighter than KTM690's, but make less power (but KTMs aren't known for going round the clock between rebuilds).

The X bikes are indeed a secret understood by the few. Try one, you might be surprised!

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