IMAGINE IF motorcycles could be used to decide the result of the general election.
Let’s swap polls for pole position and politics for slicks.
Instead of the new Prime Minister being decided using a voting system, we’d like to inject some excitement into the proceedings by putting candidates on bikes and setting them off on a series of races round their home constituencies, with the results at the end deciding who gets the keys to 10 Downing Street.
We need to iron out the fine details, but riders will be allowed to use weapons, a la Road Rash and will be awarded additional points for wheelies, stoppies, knee down, rear wheel steering and saving a near-crash. Points will be deducted for U-turns.
All riders will be on the same bikes with only limited suspension changes allowed. Just picture it – Theresa May with strong and stable suspension settings, Corbyn monoing across the finish line for the many not the few, all riders flat out, riding on the (pl)egde and Paul Nuttall impaled on the business end of a tractor that pulled out on him.