Every motorcycle fashion faux-pas. Ever.

NOT ACCEPTABLE

We asked our @visordown Twitter followers what their motorcycling no-nos were. The response was a faux-pas tidal wave.

We know motorcycling is about being an individual, being free, but it doesn’t exempt you from requiring a decent level of taste. You might not like this list if you’ve fallen foul of anything below, but don’t take it out on us. Afterall, you voted for it.

Camo trousers

If your line of work involves being shot at, then camo trousers are alright by us. Otherwise they simply aren’t. Even if you have a mullet.

Jeans into boots

It’s hard to imagine the thought process that results in you leaving the house with your jeans tucked into your boots, but it happens. Far too often. We're here to tell you that you can reconsider your options.

Any cuddly toy

I’ve fallen foul of this myself. When I was 18 I thought a toy dog on the pillion seat of my TZR125 would fool car drivers into thinking it was real. That they would laugh. I thought it was funny. I was very wrong.

Fog lights

We know some bikes are fitted with them as standard but bolting fog lights onto your motorcycle makes you no better than the youth who spend all their hard-earned dressing up their Saxo at Halfords. Battling your way through the adverse conditions on the A316, you adventurer you!

Rim Tape

You can’t help it if your bike comes with rim tape as standard but if you’re one of those people who decides every last bit of their bike has to be the same colour as the paintwork and you actually buy rim tape and spend an hour of your life applying it, then shame on you.

Matching Kit

As Alan Partridge would say: UN. BELIEVABLE. There is no excuse. Surely the shop sold more than one style of outfit? Do these people order exactly the same food at a restaurant too? Control your pillion!

Iridium Visors

Like step haircuts, Global Hypercolour T-shirts and Soda Stream; these were cool at the time but best left in the ‘90s.

Scooter Blankets

I’m all for encouraging more people onto two wheels, but not if they look like this. If you’re a man and you have a scooter with a blanket, you need to have a word with yourself.

Hi Viz

Does hi-viz really reduce accidents? It’s not up to me to tell you how to be safer, but all I’ll say is 15 years ago everyone took the piss out of anyone wearing a Sam Browne and now those very people are 15 years older, they’re wearing hi-viz jackets. Bikers have been doing alright for years without it. People might see you, they might not but hi-viz screams ‘I don’t trust myself on this thing anymore’.

'Fashion' Jackets

Boasting the same amount of protection as luxury toilet paper, nothing says wannabe more than one of these. Badly cut, badly fitting they’re usually plastered in amateur replicas of logos of all the wrong manufacturers.

Fleece over leathers

Usuaully seen riding a Rizla Suzuki rep with a ridiculously loud ‘GP style’ exhaust. Aggressive on the road, downright dangerous on track.

Exhaust wrap

It’s trendy to have a café racer. One picture on BikeEXIF spawns hundreds of home-brew specials with a hand-painted tank, ill-fitting bikini fairing and lashings of exhaust wrap - a right pig’s ear. If it’s there to protect your legs from burning to a crisp then fine but as shown in this example, it’s usually not.

Brand clash

Sorry Luke (pictured). Buying leathers to go with your bike is like tattooing your girlfriend’s name to your forehead. It doesn’t look good when you’re with her, but when you’re not, you look like an idiot.

Rubbish Replicas

There’s not much worse than a rubbish replica. But what about a rubbish replica of a crap paintjob? Why would you want to plaster a plant-hire company all over your bike? Answer: you wouldn’t. This ‘Blade would have looked so much better just black.

Sunglasses

Yes we know you’re going to tell us you wear them for medical reasons but we’re just telling you that when you wear sunglasses under a clear visor everyone thinks you look like a dweeb. They said it, not me.

Comedy sliders

The very first person who stuck them on might have been mildly amusing. Everyone since, isn’t. Sliders with an L plate on them aren't self deprecating, they're just naff.

Stick on ears

Turning up to a rideout wearing these is like turing up to the pub wearing your girlfriend's underwear and expecting everyone to find it funny. It's just weird. What are you playing at?

Sliders over jeans

New addition: 19/04/2012. Some sort of Heath Robinson contraption that allows you to wear knee sliders over your jeans. I suppose it's for those times you're heading to the shops and absolutely have to get your knee down. Righto.