Badger's Tails: Blind drivers shock

In between frantic lobbying of my Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food Minister to stave off a mass cull of my bristly brethren (I haven't got TB, honest) Badger has been keeping half an eye on the news.

Seems another defenceless victim is getting it with both barrels at the moment. Yes, the farmer's-favourite, the 4x4 vehicle. Or in urban parts of the country the Chelsea Tractor, as it's wittily dubbed.

These school-run favourites are a menace to badgers and bikers alike " we've know it for some time but now there's some damning and concrete proof to support our hunch.



Those tall-foreheaded lab-coat boffins at MIRA (motor industry research association) have been conducting a series of independently backed A-pillar blind spot tests. The A pillar, in case you were going quiet and misty eyed at the back of the class, is the strut of pressed steel that holds the roof up between windscreen and side window.

Those fun-lovin' researchers have dubbed the A-pillar blind spot the 'A-spot', presumably " ooh, my sides are hurting " as some media-friendly yet veiled reference to hard-to-find female erogenous zones. Those crazy guys, what are they like?

And guess what? Yes, the Chelsea Tractor has taken a bit of a blind spot drubbing.





Before I divulge the details of this research though, just ponder this alarming fact: 25,000 'orry I didn't see you on your motorcycle/horse/bicycle/penny farthing/Sinclair C5/Badger' accidents happened last year on UK roads resulting in death and serious injury.

The 'A Spot' is measured from the driver's eye to a point 23 metres away " coincidentally also the average stopping distance from 30mph.





The worst offenders of this inbuilt myopia were the Land Rover Discovery, Land Rover Freelander, Jeep Grand Cherokee and the hideously ugly Hyundai Santa Fe. Not that any of them are particularly pretty.

To give you some idea of the problem the worst of the bunch " Jeep Grand Cherokee " measured an A Spot (stop it, you're killing me) of 4.5 metres, even wider than two Gold Wings, side by side, with trailers and fat, colour co-ordinated pillions. With intercoms and wippy aerials. This compares, for the sake of comparison, with a normal saloon car like Audi's repmobile A4 which has an A Spot of just 0.3 metres, coincidentally about the width of an adult male badger.





This may be bad news for badgers but it's not looking good for bikers either, is it? But to make matters even worse for those un-aerodynamic, overweight, gas guzzling, leaf-sprung dinosaurs of unnecessary road transport, there's more damning evidence for the 4x4 market.

Back in 2005 Trinity College Dublin conducted their own research, which found that pedestrians (and bikers?) were twice as likely to be killed by 4x4s as they were by saloons or hatchbacks.

Plus, perhaps less scientifically, Badger would also like to point out that 4x4 drivers are all twats.

Steer clear, kiddies...